Amazon Breakthrough Novelist Award Contest

I'm so disappointed! I am more than disappointed, I am devastated. I missed the deadline for the Amazon Breakthrough Novelist Award Contest open to participants of National Novel Writing Month last November who completed the challenge of writing the first draft of a novel in a month. Guess who is one of the judges? Sue Grafton--my favorite mystery writer. She won't be the judge next year.

I kept putting it on my list to check the date. I shouldn't think about anything else in life other than writing. I need a large writing calendar from Office Max. I put it on the grocery list but it never found its way home. I need to close myself off to the world and not surface until I get my writing done for the day. I need to cocoon myself. Maybe I shouldn't do anything else but work on my writing assignments and read.

When I told my husband, he smiled. What kind of husband smiles at his wife's disappointment? We've been married for almost 37 years. I'm tired of his daily medical drama.

Damn it! I can't let this happen again. It has been happening too much to me through the years. I've been waiting for this opportunity. Maybe I wouldn't have made it but I wanted to try. I keep slipping through the cracks. I don't have money to go to all the wonderful writing workshops offered through Willamette Writers. Every year I want to go to the screenwriting workshop offered by the President of Willamette Writers, the amazing and talented Cynthia Whitcomb but every year it goes by without my having the money to attend. I'm tired of it.

The answer is that the only one I can control is myself. I have to recommit to my daily writing schedule and let nothing come in conflict with it. I can't worry about the kids in Alsea not having a school lunch program. I can't worry about loading manure on my garden. I can't worry about my health. I can't worry about anything until I get my writing done for the day. I love getting up early and going to bed early. I got up at 5 this morning. I am scheduled to help people at the library in Alsea today learn how to use the word processor and write their resumes. I shouldn't be volunteering until I have my own life going smoothly and until I have enough money for some breathing room. I need to reassess and reevaluate.

Yesterday my neighbor, Nancy was kind enough to have manure brought over into my garden. It was a wonderful gift and I'm grateful. I hid away in the office to work on finishing the third revision of my nano novel and I fell asleep. I'm a human being who tries hard every day to do her best and I seem to fail miserably. All I can do is recommit to my daily schedule and try harder tomorrow. That's all I can do. All I can do is to keep trying and never give up.

What I need is interactive writing software that is plugged into Writers Market that not only encourages, inspires, gives writing prompts, keeps track of writing and reading, but tells me which when writing deadlines are coming and alerts to possible writing markets that might want my writing. This is what I need but I would also need the money to pay for it.