I’ve been going through a spiritual crisis the last few years. I was active in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from 1995 to 2001. I had lots of people in my home for parties and dinners. I enjoyed visiting with people. I served in leadership positions and sang in the stake choir. I felt part of something wonderful. I felt like I had friends. The only people I associated with were members of this church so when I saw cracks in this perfect system and questioned, I was left without friends. When I sent letters to Salt Lake, Bishop Haslam of the Philomath Ward told my husband to shut me up and control me. My letters were about ethics and things that shouldn’t be happening in any church. I wanted answers. I learned that women aren’t respected and don’t have a voice. I learned a lot about this church that I didn’t know when I joined. I was sincere. At the last I was even serving a mission at the employment center in Salem helping people find employment and teaching workshops. It was odd that when we moved to Alsea during this, we weren’t asked to speak in church even though we wore missionary badges. I guess they don’t want anyone to hear what would come out of our mouths because we dared to question and speak the truth. All leaders are gods in this church. You can’t question their motives or ethics because whatever they do is the will of God, even if it is wrong. Yes, there are some nice people in this church but all Mormons are Mormons first before anything else.
I can't deal with religions that disrespect women. I believe answers are in empowering everyone so everyone feels uplifted and encouraged.
So after all this, I have kept myself at a distance from everyone. I have felt betrayed. I grew up going to the Lutheran Church every Sunday with my parents. I really don’t know where I belong. I guess I should just read books to try to figure it out.
To speed up the process I would like to go to one of the large conference rooms at OSU and invite religious leaders from the area plus people representing opposing points of view for debate to answer my questions. People might be interested in coming to have their own questions answered at a time when religions and churches fail to meet the needs of people to counter the increasing social isolation in this society. The LaSalle Stewart Center would be perfect.
Maybe the real answer is that I belong staying at home, writing, and reading to find answers.
1 comment:
Hi. I saw this post and couldn't help but reach out to you. I use to go to a Catholic Church for 30 years. When I went through a divorce, I found I was left with no friends because divorce is looked down upon in the Catholic church. Yes, God doesn't condone divorce unless in an unfaithful marriage which is what I was in. Anyway, I would urge you to get a New King James version bible if you don't already have one and start reading the gospel of John. Please don't get caught up in looking for a "religion", but seek the truth. There you will find the truth AND the love of God you need. I felt unloved when everyone left me (and let me tell you, I was a DEVOUT Catholic!). But Jesus changed my life. That's all I'm going to say, except that I'm a listening ear if you need one.
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