Friends

My husband asked a doctor recently, who is an expert in this area, a question for me during a visit. I wanted to know what is the secret to having a friend and getting along. This doctor said, "You have to agree with everyone and what everyone says, if you want to have friends and belong in a group."

I guess this is my problem. I don't want to give up my own opinions or identity. I can't be invisible. I can't give up who I am for the sake of blending in and belonging to a group. It is much more important to me to find the truth and to learn than to belong. I have too many questions. I am much more concerned with knowing I am right at the moment and am honest than in always agreeing. I need to be able to express concern, if I have it. People don't need to agree with me. That's not what I want because then it would be boring. How can you learn from people, if everyone agrees?

So I have no idea where I belong. I guess I belong right where I am--staying at home reading stacks of books.

I have wanted to find supportive people of my goals and dreams, and from whom I can learn. I can't afford to travel far. I can't afford memberships. I'm not sure where I belong. And if it is the truth that you truly have to agree with everyone, then I don't see how it can work.

I work hard to be nice and be supportive of others. I enjoy encouraging people but I'm not willing to say yes when I feel no or say that the sky is green when I can see that it is purple. I don't believe that a true friend would ask this of me. I guess I am dreaming and what I have wanted is nonexistent.

I don't understand why everyone needs to agree in order to work together. The joy of being around others is the learning about the differences and other points of view. Why does everyone have to agree? I guess I just don't get it.

A book is a much better solution to learn from and find support or entertainment.

A few years ago I thought I had found a friend with similiar interests who had a husband who I thought would get along with mine. It seemed to work until she had my whole life planned out into the future. I don't have time to sit on the phone for three hours and then do it again the next day.

I guess I don't want to get into the mess of relationships either because having a friend means that you take on their mess too. I have enough to deal with.