Madison

Yesterday I went to the post office in Alsea and there was Madison. The last time I went to the post office, Madison was there too where I met her for the first time. She's five years old and ready to start kindergarten. She's ready to learn, ready to soar. She's not afraid. She's confident and wants to be helpful. For the last two times at the post office, Madison has helped me get my mail out of my box so I gave her a quarter each time. She smiles. She's nice. How come five year olds are some of the best people on earth? I told her after she said thank you that she should read lots of books. I sure hope that she is given the best teachers who believe in her and see her ability and potential. I can see her being a successful CEO or a teacher or a doctor or an attorney or a national inspirational public speaker or anything she wants to be.

After leaving the post office, I went on to get a Diet Pepsi at John Boy's Mercantile. John walked by and said hi. He's always courteous and nice. He has a great son named Matt who just took over running the store. John is from the great state of Montana where I'm from. I was born in Libby. My neighbor George Foster who lives on land above me says that John is the unofficial Mayor of Alsea. I agree that John deserves the title because he's nice to everyone and he's smart. George Foster is nice too although he doesn't even wave hello. Maybe George's best friend Brian Leavitt has told him beware. Brian is a Mormon lover. He has family in Salt Lake. He fights to keep the federal lunch program out of the school even though I was told that over 50% of the kids would qualify. He even goes to Salem to lobby before the legislature to tell them Alsea doesn't want it or need it. He's the minister of the Church of Christ in Lobster Valley. He's the Fire Chief. He was the School Board President. He's actually a nice guy. I thought his church was the best one in the area and the one I wanted to attend but he said I wasn't welcome to come to his barbeque at his house after church. He didn't want me in church so I stopped going.

Then there is football man who lives down the street and teaches at the high school. This family also goes to the Church of Christ so he's friends with Leavitt. This family didn't like me after I ordered star of David candles from his daughter. So what does this mean? Does this mean that he's a Jew hater? I don't understand how anyone can go to church and hate anyone. When I went to Sunday School at the Lutheran Church growing up, I learned that Jews are God's Chosen People. God loves Jews best. So why do people in churches dislike and even hate Jews? Is it because they are smarter? Because they are superior? Because God loves Jews best of all over everyone else?

People are funny around here. We donated stuff to the school and didn't even receive a thank you. We gave a scanner to football man at the school. His name is Cowdery.

The best time I ever had at the school was playing my clarinet with their band. It was fun to be part of the band. I felt like a little kid again. I felt like I was one of them. They were all better than me but it was fun. I had plans to write a juvenile novel about the band. Maybe I still will. I used to come in just for band and then leave. One girl refused to play her clarinet as long as I played in the band so I quit. I was told by another woman that the band is for the kids and that I shouldn't come. I think that the school is a better place if you have lots of community members participating in classes. If someone wants to learn geometry at an older age, they should be allowed to come to class and learn, even if they are 55 years old. I submitted a grant request for the band and the school received $500 from the Clemens Foundation and now they don't have a band at the school which is sad.

After going to John Boys, I went into the library and picked up an audio book by Robin Cook, one of my favorite authors. I love listening to audio books as I follow along with the book. I do this when I want to escape into a book. It gives you the total experience so you can get lost in it and close out the world around you. Mary the librarian was unusually chatty for some reason. Then out in the parking lot was Ann the snot busy putting together flowers for someone. She never thinks I am worth talking to. She's the expert about everything having to do with children. She's probably best friends with Molly Mormon, Carol De Young.

When I walked into the library I saw one of the teachers at the Alsea School, Anna Moseur, if I remember her name correctly. I know she is a good person and is nice but she didn't wave or speak. Whatever.

I have a horrible habit of staring at people. I'm relentless. I look people up and down as if to memorize each article of clothing and so I can document each distinct detail. I call it TV eyes. It's really writer eyes or novel eyes. Sometimes I don't bother to look at all. Most of the time I just stay home and never leave. Most of the time my husband goes to the post office and picks up my books or gets my Diet Pepsi.

So out of all the people I saw as I make a quick sweep through the town of Alsea, do I have a friend who calls once in awhile, who wants to come to dinner, who wants to share dreams, who wants to go for coffee? No. I have zero friends. Just superficial relationships. That's it. No one thinks I am worth talking to or spending time with. No one wants to know how I think or why. No one wants to tell me what they think or share troubles. No one cares. So that's why I blog. Even if no one reads it. My blog listens to me.

If I put up a sign that said that I wanted to start some kind of program, no one would sign up or call to inquiry. That's what it's like around here. I was told when I first moved in at a Bible study group for the Alsea Christian Fellowship that if you don't fall into line in Alsea, you will be driven out. I've been alone my entire life so it doesn't matter if people talk or want to be my friend. My mother prepared me for all this. Bless her little heart. My mother wanted a clean house above all else so I had to stay in my room all the time so I wouldn't mess up her house. I grew up in my room alone so I am trained to be alone, to make up my own fun, to not need anyone. So be it. I have books. I have my perfect cat, Thomas. I have the opportunity to create stories and write. I have a garden. I have Wii Fit. I have birds that visit outside my window. When the weather warms up, I'll have my garden. What more can I ask for? I have it all.