Be Your Own Answer

Too often in life, I have trusted authority figures to provide answers and I've followed, giving up my power. If they had a Ph.D. or medical degree behind their name or if they had a genius IQ, they had the answer even if it directly contradicted what I knew to be true. Some of my biggest mistakes in life has been trusting in others and following.

This is odd but I think a common problem with women, especially those my age. I took the Mensa test in 1986 and I scored in the 97th percentile. So why do I do this? It is so easy for me to see that everyone else is capable of great things but me. My husband took the mensa test at the same time, scored in the 99th percentile, and joined mensa. Why didn't he encourage me to take the other test they recommended? They said that since I had such a high score on the pretest, better than my husband, that they were sure that I just needed to take another test to join. I know it would have upped my self confidence. Why didn't I stick up for myself in this instance?

Now more than ever before, it's important to be your own answer and to be your own expert. It's important to scour the library and books to search for the information you need to solve your own problems.

Every year I'm determined to work on goals so that I am a better person with more skills and abilities. I've never understood the individual who didn't want to improve themselves. I enjoy this process. It keeps me in the uncomfortable zone but I've seen progress. I learned to swim for the first time without fear of the deep water at the age of 56. That's pretty good.

This year I want a bigger and better garden. I want to finish my mystery novel and my children's book manuscript. I want to read more. I enjoy the fun of sewing, quilting, and knitting projects.

Life is what you make it. I'm good at creating my own fun. Growing up as an only child, I've learned to do just that. It's easy to create your own fun, even if it's just the fleeting moment of watching a dragonfly darting about or gazing at the best sunset ever. It's fun for me to create words on a page that I hadn't anticipated or that surprise me. It's fun to find roasted tomato sauce in the freezer that I made last fall from all the tomatoes in my garden and put it on pasta. (I learned how to make this pasta sauce last fall from a recipe in the Corvallis Gazette Times.) It's always fun to be around my grandchildren or to talk to them on the phone. There's lots of fun in life. You just have to look for it and appreciate it when it happens.