Monday, December 31, 2007

2008

I've decided that 2008 is going to be a great year for me. I'm going to make it a good year. It is my wish that this coming year will mark significant writing accomplishments earning enough money so I can write full time and travel. It is my wish that this year will mark the beginning of a new chapter in my life filled with joy, happiness, laughter, and accomplishments.

What I want and need:
I need to be appreciated and to make significant positive contributions.
I need to feel loved and valued.
I need family.
I want loyal, smart friends who have character, integrity, and high standards.
I want enough money for all my needs and wants.
I want to travel and see the world.
If I have to work, I need a job that pays benefits and enough money so I can live independently.
Since I'm not happy here and don't have great memories of Oregon, I want to live outside of Oregon where I am wanted, appreciated, and can have a chance to be happy.
I need to write and to read everyday.
I need an agent for my writing.
I want to write bestselling novels and screenplays.
I need to feel safe and protected.
I need to learn and to grow in all areas of my life and areas of knowledge.
I want to be wealthy.
I want to go to art museums, the symphony, the zoo, science museums, and to see live theater and Broadway plays.
I want to dress up and go to great restaurants.
I need to be able to belong to a great gym with a pool like Timberhill Athletic Club.
I need to be able to eat healthy with an abundance of fresh fruits and vegetables.
I want to learn about gemstones and collect them.
It would be fun to speak in front of large groups.
It would be fun to have a talk radio show.
It would be fun to have my own show on jewelry television.
It would be fun to be able to go back to school to take classes and get my MFA.
I have always wanted to teach at a college.
I need encouragement and people surrounding me who want me to win and who talk to me.
I love to play Mah Jongg and Canasta.
I want to live in a 5,000 square foot house that is on a hill overlooking water.
I need to live near clean, drinkable water that is abundant.
I want a big garden with flowers, fruits, vegetables, and strange plants from all over the world.
I want to be happy.

My four top priorities in 2008 are eating healthy, exercising, writing, and reading to nurture my writing.

December 23, 2007

When families join other families and blend, it isn't always possible to celebrate holidays on the exact day. This year, we celebrated Christmas on December 23rd. Daniel flew in from Columbus, Ohio. Benjamin and Amanda drove down from Seattle. Gretchen, and Chris drove down from Salem with Jack and Lizzy. We were missing Joseph and Alexander who live in Florida.

Daniel was named Haber Family Hero for 2007 to honor his hard work, dedication, great example, and accomplishments for the last year. He was presented with a certificate signed by all family members. After all, Time Magazine has a Person of the Year Award so I decided to start a Family Award of the Year.

Friday, December 28, 2007

VISO WILL

When I picked up Daniel at PDX, I looked for something to drink at one of the many great little shops. I found diet VISO energy WILL. I was impressed by the taste but most of all for what it has in it.
Listen to this:
100% vitamins, minerals, and electrolytes.
sugar free
0 calories
0 grams total fat
0 sugars
0 carbs
0 sodium
100% Vitamin A 5000 IU
100% Vitamin D 400 IU
100% Vitamin E 30 IU
100% B1 1.5 mg
100% B2 1.7 mg
100% B3 20 mg
100% B6 2.0 mg
100% B12 6.0 mcg
100% Vitamin C 60 mg
100% Biotin .30 mg
100% Folic Acid 40 mcg
100% Pantothenic Acid 10 mg
100% Manganese 2.0 mg
100% Zinc 15 mg
25% Calcium 250 mg
10% Magnesium 40 mg
5% Potassium 175 mg
Caffeine 300 mg
http://www.drinkviso.com/

Friday, December 21, 2007

Canasta

Everyday, my husband, Leslie and I play Canasta and drink coffee. This is usually a morning daily event. We use two decks of cards and I deal out 21 cards to each of us. You need two canastas to go out and we play to 5,000 points, if we have time. Who won this morning? Les.

Jewelry Television

I'm listening right now to Scott and Nicole sell gemstones on Jewelry Television. Wow! They are fun to listen to, plus you learn about gems. The bargains on gemstones are amazing. I wish I was wealthy and could order what I want. Anyone with money out there should be investing in gemstones. This is not a renewable resource. When they're gone, they're gone.

Scott and Nicole just sold a 9.75 ct. 18X13 mm emerald cut yellow labradorite for $73.98. Such a deal! A gorgeous stone, clear, stunning, and would make any woman happy. My favorite cut is a trillion cut and I don't like anything lower than a 3 ct.

Oregon and Washington are part of the Ring of Fire, a term to define the volcanic region along the west coast that circles around through Japan. In looking at a book on gemstones and seeing the conditions needed in order for the earth to naturally produce gemstones, it seems logical to me that Oregon and Washington probably have untapped deposits of gemstones that could be mined.

McGrath's

I was at McGrath's yesterday for a Christmas party for work. Our boss took us out to eat. I had such a nice time. The service and food couldn't have been better. Great conversation, nice people, and great food made it a perfect lunch.

I love good food and I LOVE fish. I started with a cup of Fishermen's Stew. I've never ordered it before but I've been thinking about it ever since. I know I will enjoy going in to eat a bowl of Fishermen's Stew often. Delicious! Perfection! Then I had the wood fired Salmon with garlic and basil butter. It was cooked to perfection. I love Salmon and enjoy eating it often at home. My favorite fish is halibut. I also had fresh steamed vegetables and sliced tomatoes with strawberry lemonade.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Alexander


My grandson, Alexander the Great turned 8 this November. He's amazing. He wants to be a film director. He's smart, curious, and has great ideas. He's full of fun and he's my sunshine. Alexander lives in Florida. The last time I got to see him was at my son, Benjamin's wedding in Seattle a year and a half ago. I sincerely hope that he has teachers that recognize his potential and encourage his talents to be the best he can be. His Dad, my son Joseph has been an amazing Dad who plays, reads stacks of books, and teaches him. Joe's a great father and I'm so proud of him too. Alexander is a good boy who is so precious to me. He's my sunshine and I love him so much. He's inventive and could easily be a comedian. He enjoys being in front of people.
I wish all my grandchildren lived on the same street with me. I'd move anywhere in the United States. I'd read stacks of books, bake cookies, play games, help them create movies, take them to movies, laugh, take them to art museums, science museums, to see Broadway plays, to the Symphony, and more. We'd have fun learning and discovering things together.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Survivor China

What a show! I love watching Survivor. I wanted James to win. He's a nice guy and got out because he trusted. It's interesting that deceit and trickery won.

I liked Peih Gee and also wanted her to win. My favorites were Peih Gee, Erik, and James. The big surprise for me was that in the end, I actually liked Courtney. She is her own person with her own opinions, and has the courage to just be herself no matter what.

What a great show. You test your limits. You learn about yourself and about others. It would be fun to be on the show.

I think the greatest player of Survivor China was Peih Gee.

About James: James knows how to work hard. He's trusting. He doesn't care to make trouble. He's a good person. He's strong and beautiful. Somewhere along the way, someone sure didn't encourage him or allow opportunities to open up. He's smart and careful. Someone out there who is a Fortune 500 CEO should offer James a position and train him. You have the basics to work with. He could easily become the face and spokesperson for a fitness or health product. I know that James would have to believe in what he does but I don't see limits. I only see problems for him if unscrupulous people take advantage of his goodness. He could also have his own talk show. Who wouldn't want to sit down and chat with James? It might be interesting to see him with Kelly, as in Kelly and Regis. Why doesn't Oprah mentor him?

I'm glad James won the $100,000.00 and that Denise won the $50,000.00.

It was sad to hear that when Denise went back to work that she was removed from her position of lunch lady to the janitor because she became such a distraction since the kids love her so much. I hope someone out there offers Denise the training and a job where she can turn her good work ethic into inspiring kids to be the best they can be.

Jewelry Television

I watch Jewelry Television on channel 313 on Direct TV. I love learning about gemstones from Cheryl Ellis. I first started watching her show in the wee hours of the night in Ohio this last summer. I wanted to call in and order a gem stone parcel to try it. Later when I got back home to Oregon, I did and I was astounded at the beauty of the stones. Cheryl is intelligent and is constantly teaching.

There are so many gorgeous gemstones out there that aren't expensive. You can buy a 3.5 or 4 carat beautiful stone for $20 to have made into a ring that is genuine and you will feel proud to wear.

It seems like everyone at Jewelry Television is part of a family. I have looked at a few of the bios of several of the people who have a show. Many have advanced college degrees and have lived excited lives before coming to JTV. One of my favorites is Wendy who is an attorney and who tells great stories. Scott is enthusiastic and makes me smile. He has a masters in music.

I trust Jewelry Television. I know I won't get cheated or talked into something I don't want, when we call in. I know I will be treated fairly. I know I will receive a bargain price because they buy in quantity. It's fun to watch. You learn. You grow and the people are nice.

http://www.jtv.com/ to shop the great bargains.

It would be fun to have a show and teach people about gemstones. I would love to do this. I would love to be part of the big buying trips and go to gem shows to talk to vendors. They travel all over the world. The biggest show is in Hong Kong. How exciting!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

MICHAEL BLOOMBERG

On page A-6 of the Wall Street Journal today is the headline, "Where Bloomberg Fits in Election." I picked up a copy at a convenience store in Corvallis. This perked my interest since I want to see Bloomberg run as a presidential candidate in 2008. This is the first presidential election where an independent candidate can win and would generate the interest of the American people at a time where respect for Democrats and Republicans have plummeted. We need a candidate who is a proven winner and who is qualified to handle the complex problems of this time. A candidate who goes the distance and who gets the votes isn't the always the best candidate to serve in the Oval office. We need Michael Bloomberg.

Would I vote for Romney--No!
Would I vote for Clinton--No! I won't vote for Hiliary because she didn't support Al Gore as Vice President when he was serving under Bill. Gore was capable of putting together a health care program and Hiliary failed at this quest.
Would I vote for Obama--maybe but not if Bloomberg is the candidate.
Would I vote for Edwards--maybe but not if Bloomberg is the candidate. My husband, Leslie is going to vote for Edwards and believes he's the best candidate.
Would I vote for Giuliani--maybe but not if Bloomberg is the candidate.

I'm always astounded when I hear people say that they want to vote for someone because he tells jokes and is funny or will not vote for someone because they are boring. I guess this really attests to the ignorance of the voting public. There really should be a test and training for candidates who run for the office for the President of the United States. There has to be basic qualifications because the wrong decisions made out of ignorance, drives the United States off course. We need someone who is qualified, brilliant, and the best person for the oval office.

I want to vote for the best candidate for President in 2008. I want to vote for Michael Bloomberg.

Our nation is in debt billions of dollars. I believe we have reached the trillion mark. We can't afford to allow mismanagement and poor decisions to keep happening. We need someone to watch out for this once great nation, the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the needs of the people of the United States, and our environment. We need to make sure our vote goes to the person who is qualified to make the best decisions to get our country back on track.

The Golden Compass

Last Saturday I went to the movies to see the Golden Compass, which is now one of my favorite movies. It has it all--the adventure, intrigue, great cinematography, and great characters. This movie is a blend of fantasy, physics (quantum mechanics, string theory, and partical theory), and a tale of the consequences of what happens when one's opinion is different than the masses. I look forward to reading the next book and seeing the next movie.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Lizzy's Birthday


This is my beautiful granddaughter, Elizabeth. I call her Lizzy. She is my sunshine and makes me so happy. She's such a good little girl. She just turned three in November. I love watching her smile, laugh, discover new things, and play. She's so much fun. I would love to spend time, much more time with her.
I love you, Lizzy. You are so precious to me. You are so smart and such a good little girl. You are my sunshine.
[I have had so many problems with my computer. I've been trying to download this picture every time I get on the computer but I have dial-up, which is frustrating. In fact, I have had problems sending photos on all three of my e-mail addresses for the last two months.]

Jack's Birthday



This is Jack's birthday party. Gretchen is my daughter and is in the light blue top and Jack is my grandson. I made the blue superhero shirt he is wearing. It was a great birthday party with all the bells and whistles. All kids should be lucky enough to have parents who give their kids such a nice birthday party.
Jack is such a cutie and I love him so much. He always makes me happy. He's my sunshine. I love seeing him and spending time with him. He's fun and thoughtful, wants to help, and full of energy. He's a good little boy and is so precious to me.
You are a smart little boy, Jack. Read stacks of books and learn everything you can to get ready to be Jack who can handle anything in the world and solve any problems. You are my sunshine.

Dogs on a Leash

There are many municipal laws on the books about dogs on a leash but this law is rarely enforced. Dog owners often do not feel the need to have their dog on a leash if their dog will obey a verbal command, but is this responsible? A dog is an animal. With so many variables to distract can one be certain that their well-trained dog will not cause harm even under supposedly innocent circumstances? I am also aware how easily it would be to use a well-trained dog to accomplish a goal to cause harm and make it appear innocent.

My son, Benjamin was running in a cross country event for Seattle Running Company to get ready for the National Cross Country event in Columbus, Ohio in December. At 1K, a dog appeared out of no where and collided with my son who fell to the ground, broke his wrist, hurt his knee, and had to stop. Blood ran down both of his arms. This dog should have been on a leash. My son is an elite distance runner. This year he finished the Eugene Marathon in 2 hours and 30 minutes. He runs cross country to bring speed to his distance running. The owner of the dog who allowed his dog to be off a leash should pay for the medical bills but how do you pay for lost dreams when you are at the top of your game? This dog took away more than the running dream because it effects my son at work on the computer.

A seemingly innocent act of allowing your dog to run off leash during a 10K running event is not so innocent, in my opinion. Often I wish I had gone to law school. Attorneys are the defenders of the law and innocent victims. Yes, some attorneys bend to greed and the highest bidder but I still believe in the law and that there are attorneys out there who fight for what's right.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Penske


On the trip of a lifetime this summer, my son, Daniel drove across country from California to Ohio on I80 in a Penske moving truck. Everytime we saw a Penske truck coming our way on the freeway, we raised our arms in unison and said, PENSKE!


I'm impressed with Penske. We had zero problems and Penske made the move easier. The spacious air-conditioned cab made it easier going through hot temperatures with plenty of large cup holders for big soda pop drinks with ice. The cab had plenty of space to put some luggage or bags of books or items to keep me occupied during the trip.


Here's a photo that I took at a rest stop at the Utah salt flats. I met the nicest family at this rest stop.

Thank you, Daniel. I'll never forget the fun, the laughs in the Penske truck along I-80.

Jewelry Television

Jewelry Television on Channel 313 on Direct TV has opened my eyes to the potential of making jewelry by buying loose gems and creating your own jewelry. All gems are genuine and I'm impressed by the bargains. You can buy 25 carats of 8mm sky blue topaz for only $19.98. This is a beautiful stone and you can get it for less than a dollar a carat. This is amazing. Check it out.
www.jtv.com Such a deal!

Firefighters

On the front page of the Corvallis Gazette Times on November 24 is the headline, "Firefighters take on role in terrorism surveillance." It goes on to say that "unlike police, firefighters and emergency medical personnel don't need warrants to access hundreds of thousands of homes and buildings each year...."

The potential abuse brings to mind the book, Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury and it makes me wonder why firefighters want their hero status scarred.

We don't seem to be the same United States of America anymore where the Constitution and Bill of Rights matter.

Merit Pay for Teachers

On the November 20th front page of the Corvallis Gazette Times [www.gazettetimes.com] the headline reads "Teacher merit pay may be on '08 ballot."

Bill Sizemore is pushing this agenda who seems to be hated by anyone who wants to make sure the money keeps coming for their own self interest.

Many say that merit pay is an enemy of public education but is it? I really wonder about teachers who are threatened by merit pay. Shouldn't the goal be to reward teachers who inspire kids and clean house of those teachers who don't? I haven't seen headlines spash across newspapers saying the education in the United States is the best in the world. Shouldn't we work hard in this country to keep reaching for the best ways to inspire students and reward it when we find teachers who do?

Saturday, November 10, 2007

High Blood Pressure

A couple of weeks ago, my blood pressure was checked. It was 155 over 120. I have a headache almost all the time. I can feel the pulsing in my head. When you don't have a doctor and zero health insurance or savings, you ignore symptoms. It's too bad that people aren't valued in this country. Everyone should have access to a basic level of health care and emphasis should be placed on prevention.

Kennedy Space Center


My son, Joe is on the right. Alexander the Great, my grandson is on the left with his best friend, Chance, who is in the middle. They are visiting Kennedy Space Center.
Joe lives in Florida and is a great father. He is an Assistant Manager for Wal-Mart in one of the big stores in Orlando. Joe loves his job and loves Florida.

Leslie

My husband, Leslie has been sick all summer and ended up in the hospital on October 31 at Good Samaritan in Corvallis. He was in three different rooms. Heart disease and cancer was ruled out. The big question is what would cause a loss of blood platelets. The number was only 8,000 when he was admitted, instead of the normal range that starts at 300,000. After tests and experts for days, he was released on November 6 without answers. His doctor, Dr. Kenyan is supposed to be one of the best in Oregon who is tenacious and will not stop until answers are found so we are happy. It still might be the Valley Fever. So far we know his body is allergic to itself. He has Evans Syndrome, Eosinophilia, Lymphadenopathy, and a history of Coccidiomycosis.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints talks about family values. Presidential candidate, Romney, a Mormon, talks about family values. He is running on a platform based on family values. Sounds good....

I recently watched the PBS Frontline special, The Mormons, the last in a series inside the Mormon faith. At the beginning, Dallin H. Oaks, one of the twelve apostles said, "It's wrong to criticize leaders of the church, even if the criticism is true." He later said, "Intellectualism is a danger to the church...." Boyd K. Packer, another one of the twelve apostles said, "Gays, Feminists, and Intellectuals are enemies of the church."

This sounds a little like Hitler's Nazi empire to me. Hitler didn't like gays, feminists, and intellectuals either and we all know how that turned out. Don't think for yourself. Don't question authority figures. Don't have an opinion.

It isn't possible to hold a temple recommend, if you criticize leaders of the church or question them.

[I learned all this first hand when my husband and I were serving as missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We were helping people find employment on a service mission in Salem covering an eight stake area driving back and forth from Alsea on our own dime. Les finished the two year mission. I quit after six months. We saw behaviors of leaders that warranted big questions. We became members in 1995. After letters to Salt Lake City in 2001, we were shunned.]

Is this really the kind of family values that we want to teach our children? In my opinion, if doctrine can't stand light and debate, it isn't valid. If leaders aren't doing what they ought, the church should clean house. To teach vulnerable and innocent children to not question authority figures and to follow blindly is to create robot children who will fall prey to predators.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Israel


On the right is Daniel, my youngest son. In the center is Josh, his friend that he met in Israel. I met Josh. He's a great guy. Josh helped Daniel unpack the moving truck when Daniel moved to Columbus. Josh is getting his masters degree in architecture at Ohio State University. A great catch for some lucky gal out there. So is my son, Daniel.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Battelle

Here's a photo of Daniel in his office at Battelle in Mountain View, California as he is packing up his work to take to headquarters in Columbus, Ohio. I got to meet some of the amazing, talented, and brilliant people he has been working with. They are fun too with a great sense of humor. An official certificate was created, signed, dated, and given to Daniel saying that he is released from his debt of 50 million donuts promised in an e-mail. Great words of praise and expectations for Daniel were shared with me by everyone I met. Daniel was working with PhD's in CA and when he left, several said they thought he'll be President someday, not President of the US because no one would want that job, but President of Battelle. He worked hard with 12 to 18 hour days to find solutions, common ground, and answers to difficult questions as a research scientist working on projects with NASA and the airline industry as a graduate of Oregon State University. I'm very proud of the work that Daniel is doing and that he is part of Battelle. Now he's working hard in Columbus at Battelle and is now a proud Buckeye at Ohio State University working on his MBA.

I got to meet his new boss in Columbus and his two beautiful daughters. Eight year old Aleah is a beautiful blonde princess and is very precocious. She showed me her pure white teddy bear dressed in a bridal gown. His boss couldn't have been nicer or more supportive. He said that Columbus is a place to settle down and I agree that the quality of life in Columbus is excellent.

I love Columbus. I love it that you can see a Broadway play, see an exhibit on Monet at the Art Museum, listen to the symphony, visit a replica of the Santa Maria in the harbor, eat at some great restaurants, and the housing prices are reasonable. The shopping is amazing. I'm impressed with Columbus and I'm so happy for Daniel.

http://www.battelle.com/

My cousin, Victor


This is my cousin, Victor Gess who lives in Lafayette, California. Daniel and I stopped to see him before leaving California on our way to Columbus, Ohio. Victor is the son of my Dad's sister, Alma. He's an amazing man who has accomplished a lot in life. He's intelligent, political, and a strong leader. Victor is a big supporter of Hilliary Clinton, so I was interested in hearing his take on her race for the presidency. He spends a lot of time researching family geneology and has written books about our family originating from Sweden.

Daniel's Friends

These are all the great friends who came to help my son, Daniel move in Mountain View, California. Each one has an amazing career. It was so much fun to meet and talk to them all. Daniel always has the BEST friends. He sure knows the secret of how to pick great friends and attract them. Not only are they intelligent with great ideas but they have a kind and generous spirit, and work hard to acheive their goals, like Daniel who is sitting in front. I liked them all very much.

skybus.com

Skybus is the best news for consumers who fly that I've heard about in a long time. On the website it says there are ten seats on every flight for $10. Wow! That's great for someone like me who loves to travel and can plan ahead but doesn't have a lot of money to spend. Flights originate in Columbus, Ohio and fan out to cities across the country. Skybus doesn't fly into Oregon yet but I sure hope to see news of it soon.

Grades

It's great to get all A's but the most important thing is to learn the lesson in the book. To do your best and to understand it's okay to get a B once in awhile is better than to be like the student who is so consumed about getting A's that later in life he never cracks a book or cares about learning. Life happens. If you don't have lofty goals, you will never even come close to achieving them, but be kind to yourself along the way to make sure you get proper rest, exercise, healthy food, a dose of friends, and time alone to see answers. There are many lessons to learn in life and not all of them can be measured by a grade. The drive for excellence must come from within but it must be encouraged and valued.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Crowded Skies

On Saturday, September 23rd, I flew home from Columbus, Ohio on Southwest Airlines via Chicago's O'Hare Airport where I changed planes arriving in Portland, Oregon around 11 a.m. I didn't experience any delays or problems on September 23rd, nor did I experience any delays or problems on September 11th flying out of PDX on Southwest Airlines to San Jose, California. I had an enjoyable flight both days.

Delays and problems with the air transportation system have been plaguing the news media in the last few months so when I turned on C-Span on September 28 to watch the Senate, my interest heightened when testimony was being given about this very issue. According to testimony, we seem to be at a crossroads in the aviation transportation industry.

First to give critical testimony was Patrick Forrey, the President of the National Air Traffic Controllers Association speaking for only six minutes. My first concern is why was his time limited to only six minutes when this is a potential critical issue for air transportation and public safety? Why were other experts giving testimony limited to only a few minutes, especially when I often turn onto C-Span only to find classical music playing with no debate on the floor of the House or Senate?

Mr. Forrey gave important testimony stating that "controller fatigue rates are increasing at a frightening level as air traffic continues to grow." He said there are 1,100 fewer certified air traffic controllers than the infamous 9-11 and yet delays have increased 150% with identical traffic. Working record amounts of hours under high stress and under-staffed conditions, three air traffic controllers are leaving every day and 70% of the current work force will retire in five years.

Jim May, Air Transport Association President and CEO wants to increase low altitude and departure routes out of major hubs and says that the 72% delay rates that exist now are not acceptable. Listed across the bottom of the C-Span screen as Mr. May was speaking was the factoid that there has been a 20% increase in air traffic in 2006. He said that the air transportation industry will move a billion passengers a year in the next five years. There will be 760 million passengers that fly in 2007.

Air traffic controllers say that "demand exceeds capacity." Mr. Forrey said, "airline schedules are often out of line with reality." The example given was if 10 aircraft can leave in a fifteen minute period, why are more than 10 scheduled to leave in this time period causing backups and delays?

Steve Brown, the Senior Vice President of the National Business Aviation Association talked about JFK having enough capacity in the early morning hours for 44 departures but 57 are scheduled creating a "conga line" on the runways of aircraft waiting to depart causing a backup of jets in the air that are forced to circle the airspace until they are given the permission to land. Mr. Brown says the U.S. Department of Transportation lists weather and commercial airlines scheduling practice as responsible for delays. He said that most business travelers avoid major airport hubs so they aren't responsible for delays.

So I'm wondering as I listen to this testimony what is going to fill the need with 70% of the air traffic controllers retiring in five years and the critical need to expand service? Mr. Brown was the first to mention ADSB or the Automatic Dependent Surveillance System which is viewed as the "cornerstone of modernization" for the future. But can computers acequately handle emergencies? The ADSB can only work as a tool used by experienced air traffic controllers, in my opinion.

Patrick Forrey, the President of the NATCA mentioned the three hours of lost communications at the Memphis Traffic Control Center covering an eight state area recently with over 1,000 flights in the air space. The experienced air traffic controllers ignored the FAA ban to use cell phones and used them to safely direct air traffic during this critical three hour period.

I didn't experience any problems or delays on Southwest Airlines. I had a great time and enjoyed my flights.

I question whether smaller airports are being utilized to their potential after listening to this testimony and after my own experience this month. Salem, Oregon has only one airlines flying into the airport to provide needed service. In the past, it used to be a busy airport. Now only Delta flies into Salem. Why? Everyone in Oregon shouldn't have to be shuttled to Portland to fly out of Oregon. Why isn't the Corvallis airport utilized by regional and smaller commercial airlines? Why aren't there more flights out of Eugene and Salem? I wonder what airlines are flying out of Medford and Bend?

If the airlines are overscheduling for profit which threatens public air safety, why aren't they fined and held accountable?

These issues peak my interest but I trust solutions will continue to be found as air transportation continues to be the safest means of transportation.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Road Trip

I'm excited to travel this week. My youngest son, Daniel is flying me down to San Jose today out of PDX on Southwest to start the trip of a lifetime. I feel privileged to have been asked to spend the time with him driving to Ohio. I always say that spending time with my family is the most precious gift.

There isn't anyone better than Daniel. He starts a new job in Columbus, Ohio on Wednesday morning at Battelle and will be working on his MBA at Ohio State University starting this fall. He has worked for 6 years with Battelle in Mountainview, California and Corvallis, Oregon. Daniel deserves the very best in life and I'm so proud of him. He's the BEST person I know.

I fly back to PDX on Southwest next Wednesday. It's going to be a great adventure.

Family

Here's a photo of the last time our family got together on the weekend of August 24 and 25. Let me introduce you--starting at the left is Chris--my son-in-law, Gretchen--my daughter holding LizzyBeth, my granddaughter. Then comes Benjamin, my son from Seattle and his wife, my daughter-in-law--Amanda who is holding Jack--my grandson. Then comes me and my husband--Leslie on the far right. In the background is Chris and Gretchen's new Jeep that is pulling their travel trailer that was in our driveway for the night. It sure is fun getting together and I look forward to the next time. Les is 200% better now.
Chris just lost over 80 pounds with LA Weight Loss. Gretchen dropped down to a size 6 and 8 by following the program too. I'm proud of both of them. It's not easy to lose weight. They look healthy and have added years to their life. Now they eat differently and look for opportunities to enjoy the outdoors together as a family.
It sure was fun seeing Ben and Amanda too from Seattle. Of course, I always love playing Canasta and winning but I didn't this time. A big loss to Ben. I'll have to wait for the next time.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

BEST BUY

We bought a new computer at Best Buy in Salem and I'm sure happy with it. It's an emachine and the Geek Squad at Best Buy installed the Windows software and the virus protection. I'm impressed with my problem-free experience on the Internet so far.

Best Buy seems to have everything you could want and I saw many things that would be nice to buy someday. Expert friendly service...what more could you want?

Medical Update

Leslie went to the Lincoln Clinic yesterday. I thought he was doing much better. On Sunday he went outside to work out in the yard for a little bit. He looks better. He's moving around more. However, Dr. Williams told him the blood test came back with cause for concern with the elevated white count level. He said that no one has seemed to get to the bottom of what is wrong with Les for a very long time and he wants to find another doctor who might be able to help him. Les goes for a CT Scan at the end of the week.

I thought that it was interesting that when Les asked about his cardiogram taken several months ago that the test wasn't in his folder and Dr. Williams had never looked at it. Les had asked the nurse about it before and she said it wasn't in his folder either. Why?

I'm impressed with Dr. Williams because he doesn't pretend to know something he doesn't and he cares to find out the truth. He cares about his patients.

The whole health care system needs to be changed so that the best care is provided to all people in need for health care. This in and out system in 10 minutes with a hit or miss diagnosis just doesn't cut it.

Republican Party

My husband of 35 years, Leslie received in the mail a questionnaire for the Republican National Committee. I thought it interesting when he told me that health care wasn't even listed as a cause for concern. My husband wrote it in as his number one cause for concern during the election.

I think Lou Dobbs has it right when he says that neither the Republicans or Democrats seem to have the answers or solutions.

So You Think You Can Dance

One of my all time favorite shows and one of the most important shows on television to encourage the arts is SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE. It's down to four young people and I'll be voting for Sabra or Danny or Neil.

I was so impressed when Nigel Lythgoe spoke briefly about the right to express an opinion. He said, "Art should be allowed to make statements and until we find a way of living with people we disagree with, we are never going to find peace. We've got to work at this." Nigel is a great man who has encouraged the love of dance in millions and now begins the great effort that should be rewarded with a Nobel Peace Prize of sharing dance with kids all over the United States by using the best choreographers to teach dance to the teachers who work with young people in inner city programs. He is working to change the world to make it a much better place by channeling energy into dance, instead of violence.

All the dancers who have participated and were chosen have been great and will go on to amazing careers in dance. My favorite was Hok and I was sad to see him leave. The dance of the hummingbird and the flower was nothing less than the highest art expressed through dance.

Israel

Daniel spent two weeks in Israel with the Taglit Birthrite Program. I asked him to put my name in a space in the Western Wailing Wall for a blessing and he did. He stayed with a group of young people his own age to explore and learn about being Jewish in Israel. He brought home a large bag of seven cosmetics from the Dead Sea for me, and a beautiful Star of David with a blessing on it for our home which reads, "May this home be a place of happiness and health, of concernment, generosity and hope, a home of creativity and kindness. May those who visit and those who live here know only blessing and peace."

I'm so proud of Daniel how he embrasses life and is beginning to have friends all over the world.
He's perfect in every way and he works hard to do his best at everything he does. He's a brilliant young man with a kind heart and has a keen ability to find solutions.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

BLOOMBERG

In the Corvallis Gazette Times this morning in the religion section is the headline, "Bloomberg: America's first Jewish president?" Bloomberg is the only candidate smart enough to be president. It's important that he's Jewish, especially in a time when some around the world want to annihilate all Jews.

Hilliary? Why would I vote for Hilliary? I don't know what she stands for since she's so busy kissing up the last three years. When her husband was president, he gave her the project of putting together a national health care system and she failed so just why would I think she would do any better this time plus her husband gave away the store and couldn't control his personal life.

Edwards, the pretty boy? I don't know. I think he would be too busy looking in a mirror.

Romney? I would never vote for a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints after my experience in this church. Am I nice to members? Yes. Do I keep my distance? Yes.

Giuliani--maybe I'll vote for him, if Bloomberg doesn't run for president.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

COCCIDIOIDOMYCOSIS

Coccidioidomycosis can be dangerous and life threatening. Imagine having fungal spores inside your body that multiply and shoot off like popcorn in the microwave and then continue to multiply in all parts of your body. It weakens the immune system, causes respiratory problems, can lead to meningitis when not stopped, and during the 1950's was actually considered by the U.S. Government to be a biological weapon. It isn't contagious. You must breath in the fungal spores. You aren't supposed to get it again but that obviously isn't true since my husband has a new full-blown case of Valley Fever. Was it caused by the residual disease that was dormant in his body or is this a new infection from spores that he breathed in when rototilling our garden? I don't know. I guess we would have to test the soil to know for sure. Interesting.

Since Coccidioidomycosis is endemic to the SW of Texas, California and Arizona, I can see that seniors should be careful when relocating to this area of the country. Stay inside when they excavate for new buildings and stir up the dirt.

LINCOLN HEALTH CLINIC

My husband visited the Lincoln Health Clinic yesterday and I'm pleased with his care. Dr. Williams searches for answers and asks for advice. When consulting with an expert at OSHU and was told that nothing should be done to control the Valley Fever, Dr. Williams didn't stop there but went on to talk to the medical professionals at the University of Washington Medical School. Les is now on fluconazole and is already seeing positive results.

Les is now taking Adviar, Vitamin D, Vitamin B12, Fluconazole, Hydroxy, and tapering off the Namenda.

Namenda has the potential of shutting down his immune system which could allow the Valley Fever to progress into meningitis again. Dr. Broskie, Les' doctor in Salem called to take him off the Namenda. She has been in constant touch to help him. She is another medical hero who has directed his care.

Susan, the nurse at Lincoln Clinic was amazing on Monday, July 2nd because Les was in the examining room for 2 1/2 hours. This is unusual in the time of a "one symptom and ten minute visit" medical era. By giving him a nebulizer treatment for his lungs, it helped him to breath better. The blood tests taken during this visit made a positive diagnosis of active coccidioidomycosis or Valley Fever.

It takes many people to heal a person which includes Thayne, the Pharmacist at Safeway who got the fluconazole started on Saturday.

Les is starting to get better. He hasn't been sleeping for the last month so I look forward to his getting better, sleeping, and starting to recover so he can enjoy life again. I'm grateful to everyone who has helped.

JOANN FABRICS

I enjoy working at Joann Fabrics and dreamed of how it could be even better.

I would sit with customers in a large sitting area with refreshments to encourage and answer questions with full access to all resources to give outstanding service with other team members. Computer software and a large screen monitor would allow us to take customers in virtual reality to find what they want in any part of the store. A map would be printed out so they could easily find all the items they want. Any questions about craft projects could be answered on the large screen with visual directions and then printouts with all instructions. Samples of all types of crafting would be available in notebooks to show as examples.

There would be classes in Corvallis, just like in the large Super Centers in the big cities.

Any person who has difficulty walking from one end of the store to the other would ride in carts.

There would be a play yard for the children so mothers could shop without worry or concern with plastic tunnels over the fabric near the ceiling with slides. There would be large tables with teachers and crafting supplies for all children.

After all the team members go home after helping customers, all the merchandise that is brought in the semitrucks would be put away by retail robots. All merchandise would have a microchip with directions of the exact spot in the store where it belongs and robots that scan the bar code would know the exact location of where to put the merchandise.

Maybe in the future something like this might be a reality in all retail stores to give excellent customer service.

Monday, July 09, 2007

ON THE LOT

I've been saving the FOX reality show ON THE LOT on my Tivo. They were backed up and I decided to skip ahead and watch tonight's show so I could vote.

This is my favorite show on television. If this show doesn't spark the imagination and light a fire under all screenwriters and filmmakers, I don't know what would. It's perfect. I love the format of this exciting show with executive producers, Mark Burnett from Survivor and Steven Spielberg, the BEST Director of all time. No wonder it's great!

The opportunity to see Carrie Fisher, Gary Marshall, and guest directors react and to see how they critique the films is invaluable to all screenwriters and filmmakers.

The short film, TIME UPON A ONCE directed by Zach Lipovsky was pure genius and magic. I love the way his mind works.

The charming fairy tale, THE LEGEND OF DONKEY-TAIL WILLIE directed by Hilary Graham was fun. I agree with Gary Marshall and was "engaged and involved with it."

SPAGHETTI directed by Will Bigham was my favorite of the first three. I've always loved westerns. When I was in grade school, I used to write my own scripts for Gunsmoke. I always included a commercial and a joke. I loved the story bringing the clash of the new with the old.

It makes me dream of a digital video camera, editing software, and a new computer.

FIRST SIGHT by Shalini Kantayya was an important film with a message. I wonder what kind of films with value and character Shalini will create in the future that will evoke thought and self-examination.

Of all the filmmakers, Adam Stein is my favorite. WORLDLY POSSESSION was clever, inventive, and amazing with the special effects.

Everyone's so gifted and amazing. ON THE LOT will inspire young and old filmmakers all over the world. Everyone will win because of the great films that will be created.

That's a wrap. Fade out.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Family Medicine

The Leslie is almost covered with the rash from Valley Fever or Coccidioidomycosis. He's in severe pain. He doesn't sleep. The Leslie has been directing his own care to get what he needs. The Benjamin researched medications with the least side effects for his Dad yesterday and came up with fluconazole. Ben has a degree in biomedical engineering and works for Zymo Genetics in Seatte as a manager. The Daniel looked up information on the internet, also researched medications, and found someone at Stanford doing research on Coccidioidomycosis. Dan is a research scientist with Battelle in Mountain View, CA. The Wendy diagnosed the coccidioidomycosis, supports and maintains to keep everything going. Now the trick is to get the care The Leslie needs so that he will get well.

Is The Wendy getting a little tired of always putting her dreams on the back burner? Yes!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Coccidioidomycosis

Coccidioidomycosis or Valley Fever or San Joaquin Valley Fever common in SW California, Texas, and Arizona in semi-arid climates now has an identified case in Alsea, Oregon. Yesterday my husband, Leslie was positively identified as having coccidioidomycosis from a blood test taken at the Lincoln Health Clinic in Corvallis.

Coccidioidomycosis is caused by inhaling fungus spores. My husband contracted Coccidioidomycosis or Valley Fever in Arroyo Grande, California in 1978 when he was cleaning up the yard of the house we bought on Tierra Street. He inhaled the spores. Even though this disease is common to the area, especially when there is major excavation, it went undiagnosed. It progressed up into the brain and arrested. He survived. He has had problems with his joints ever since and a CT brain scan showed major damage to the frontal and parietal lobes of the brain.

This time I suspected that it was Cocciodioidomycosis again, even though it was highly unlikely. This is why. After rototilling in the dry soil in our garden area, my husband got worse and started having similiar symptoms to the time he was so gravely ill in 1978. For some odd reason, I did not want him to rototill this year and I made the decision not to have a garden, even though it would not be to our advantage. He did so anyway, stubborn man that he is and who never listens to me. He rototilled a smaller area so he could plant tomatoes. I refused to have a garden this year and didn't want to encourage it.

Medical literature says that you aren't supposed to get Cocciodioidomycosis or Valley Fever a second time. Insurance companies sure don't want to discuss the liability issues of this disease. We don't have medical insurance.

Yes, The Wendy was right and accurately diagnosed it. I told several people what I suspected, including the nurse at the Immediate Care Clinic in Corvallis and the nurse yesterday at the Lincoln Health Clinic. This time it was diagnosed correctly and it will save his life.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Nancy Drew

I saw a great movie yesterday in Corvallis with my Safeway movie coupon. Nancy Drew was on the list of movies so that's what I decided to see. I went by myself since my husband is having problems with asthma and the expiration date on the coupon was almost up. Thank you, Safeway!

Growing up, I used to read Nancy Drew mysteries. I also read Trixie Belden and the Bobbsey Twins.

This is a great movie, full of action that centers around a gifted teen who loves to solve mysteries. The theater was full of parents bringing their children to enjoy the movie together. This was nice.

This should generate a lot of interest in reading Nancy Drew mysteries. Buy them from your local book seller or go to the library and read them all.

I sure had fun. I had the full movie experience with popcorn, a Diet Coke, and box of candy while enjoying a great movie.

Monday, June 25, 2007

What is most important?

To me, what is most important is: to constantly learn, work hard to become better each year in all areas of your life, family, and treating others with kindness.

I took a test last year and I learned that learning is my highest motivator over reaching goals and having friends. Friends was in last place out of the three and I find at this time in my life, I have no close friends.

I've always felt that it is important to progress in life and to be a better person next year as compared to the last year. In life, there are many levels of need for improvement so what may seem apparent to one may not be to someone else. I'm proud of the fact that I learned how to swim 2 1/2 years ago, which is quite a feat since I was so afraid of deep water.

Family is so important to me but I find that I don't have the opportunity to be near family as often as I would like. Everyone is scattered, busy, and involved in important projects. I think these days, family is not a priority in today's world. I've said I would love to live on the same street with my children so I could have a big dinner once a week, be helpful, bake bread, babysit, etc. but this isn't in the cards for me. I guess I'm stuck in the 50's of how I think things should be in life.

I feel it is important to be kind and respectful to others in life. This does not mean, however, that you continue to put yourself in the path of someone you know will cause you harm or continue to allow yourself to be used or hurt. It's important to protect yourself but it is important to forgive and treat everyone with respect and kindness no matter how you are treated by others. I guess this is my Miss Pollyana view of life.

Writing is essential, as important as breathing. To move my writing goals forward daily is important to me. Having computer problems stunts my progress. I recently lost family photos, my screenplay and writing on my computer. Frustrating!

To read to support my writing is equally important. Right now I'm reading the BEST library book. I need to buy it since it is one of the BEST books on writing that I've ever read. A WRITER'S COACH by Jack Hart. Jack Hart is a managing editor at the Oregonian and a former professor at the University of Oregon.

So what's important to me?.....moving my projects forward, being nice along the way, and seeing my family as often as possible.

2007 Maui Writers Conference

I got the conference brochure for the 2007 Maui Writers Conference in the mail and dream about going. Can you imagine learning from Ron Howard, Frank McCourt, Barbara Kingsolver, Mitch Albom, Carrie Fisher, Tony Hillerman, Robin Cook, Nicholas Sparks, and dozens of other writing heroes? I dream of it. I've always wanted to go. Maybe someday I can.

Lisa Nichols will be at the conference, who is known as Iyanla from Starting Over on television, another one of my heroes who dares to tell the truth and who cares about people.

The news in this brochure tells me that for only $20, you can sign up to attend the conference and never leave home. IF my computer keeps working without interference and IF I can get speakers for my computer, I'm going to be listening. I'm also dreaming of an Ipod so I can download these writing workshops--each one important and each one with great wisdom for anyone who takes writing seriously.

http://www.mauiwriters.com/

Doctors and Clinics

My husband went into the Lincoln Clinic in Corvallis. He waited the time period until there could be no doubt this wasn't a virus. He was given amoxicillin, flunisolide, and albuterol inhaler for an "alergic nose" or nasal alergy on June 11th.

During this time my husband was coughing and having a difficult time breathing. He would cough standing up, black out and fall on the floor. This happened several times.

Then on June 15, since he had an allergic reaction to amoxicillin, he went to the Corvallis Immediate Care Clinic at Corvallis Clinic where he was given azithromycin, prednisone, spiriva handihaler and told to continue taking the albuterol inhaler and flunisolide, which is a nasal spray and throw away the amoxicillin. X-rays were taken to show it was a sinus infection. His lungs were clear.

He was coughing so badly and in so much pain that he was unable to sleep through this period of at least three weeks. I finally got him to start sleeping in the chair a little bit at a time.

On June 23, he returned to Corvallis Immediate Care Clinic because he wasn't getting better. The rash on his back was worse and it covered most of his body from the amoxicillin. He had difficulty breathing. When asked what his first complaint was, my husband said breathing. The doctor commented that the muscle on his back might have been torn from so much coughing but he didn't check it. He was given a new round of Predisone, Advair, Rhinocort nasal spray, and Avelox. He's finally getting better, I'm happy to report.

I took him to the doctor at the Immediate Care Clinic and to see the nurse at the Lincoln Clinic all three times. I've stayed home from work because he was in so much pain, having such a difficult time, and because he became confused. Hopefully I can return to work soon.

Sometimes I think we are in the Dark Ages of medical care and it's a miracle people get better after taking all this medication. It seems to be hit and miss. Why isn't there a hand held scanner that instantly diagnoses with complete accuracy and offers recommended treatment? Where are the little gifted kids who grew up to be doctors who take seriously the profession of medicine and who keep updating their knowledge?

I know from master gardening that it is possible to get a detailed soil analysis from a sample with a readout of exactly what nutrients and minerals are missing so why isn't this possible in medicine for human beings? Why don't you get a printout at the doctor's office when you are sick with a complete listing of what vitamins and minerals you need, what exercises would be best, what foods you should be eating to heal, and what recommended treatments should be given to make you well?

My Computer

My computer has been down for the last two weeks, which halted my progress to write a screenplay in a month for Script Frenzy at http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/. I like things to work, especially my computer.

I don't know what happened to it. This happened before to my last computer which is still unusable. I thought this would be the same but my husband finally got this one going again. It's frustrating! I feel like my progress is halted and stopped when this happens.

Sometimes I wonder whether it is worth being on the computer at all. I've been listening to Kim Commando on the radio in the car when I drive back and forth from Corvallis. It seems like you have to have so much specialized knowledge about protecting yourself on the computer these days.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Gardening

Since my soil needs to be tested and I don't have the money to do everything I need to do to create a garden this year, I've decided to wait until next year. I need to test my soil since my corn had purple throughout the husks last year. My sunflowers dramatically depleted the nitrogen in my soil. I need to create great soil first. I don't have the money to buy great bedding plants from the nursery. Time is also a factor since I can't do everything I want to do in a day. I love working out in the garden early in the morning, especially during the summer. This year I'm planting a cover crop on most of the garden areas to get ready for next year.

Miserable with a Cold

I feel miserable with a cold today. My nose is red from blowing it so much. Yesterday it was hard to work since the last few days, I've been sneezing and blowing my nose every few minutes. I'll be glad when I feel better.

Patent Pending

I received a letter a couple of days ago from the U.S. Patent Office letting me know that my application for a design patent will be considered. This was thrilling for me to see this letter. I've been sitting on several inventions and ideas for several years since I haven't had the money to do anything about it. I thought I would start with easy ideas first to learn the process and see what happens. Pretty exciting stuff!

International Society of Poets

I received a letter on May 5th saying that I am cordially invited to the 21st annual International Society of Poets Convention and Symposium in Las Vegas. I have been nominated as Poet of the Year for 2007. The letter goes on to say that I will be inducted as an International Poet of Merit and Honored Member of the Society for 2007 to 2008.

This is a great honor and I sincerely hope that I am able to attend. Money is the deciding factor.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Joann Fabrics

I love working at Joann Fabrics and Crafts. It's fun. Joann sells everything that I love and everyone who comes through the door has something in common with me.

If I were to dream big and think of how I would do things, I would put out all the freight, move sections, and put back stock in the middle of the night with a night crew. Then the people who work while the store is open can concentrate on giving excellent customer service.

I wish we were a Super Center so we would have classes. That would be fun. I think it's a natural that we have a Super Center in Corvallis with the clothing design program at OSU, 4-H, and sewing classes in the high school and middle schools. Sewing seems to be taking off. People are seeing that you can put your unique spin on a dress with your own fabric choices and embellishments making it a one-of-a-kind design.

We have so many great bargains and sales. The last clearance over Memorial Day weekend had $1 a yard fabric which was an extreme buy! It's easy to sell things at Joann Fabrics because everything's a good buy and something that I believe in. Come and see...........and sign up for the sales fliers so you, too, can know when the great bargains happen on your favorite items.

Weight Watchers

I lost 1.8 pounds yesterday bringing my weight loss total to 12 pounds for the last five weeks. I'll take it. I love Weight Watchers. It's recommended by doctors. It's motivational and positive. It holds you accountable, which I need. I need to Watch what I eat or my eating can get out of control with a little here and a little there and splurging once in awhile.

This was the topic of the day by the leader. She talked about "licks, bites, and tastes" and how they can add up quickly before you know it to an extra 700 calories. I understand this and this is why I need to count and keep track of everything I eat. It's easy as a woman to taste your cooking, think that standing up while you're eating doesn't really count, and to not pay attention to an occasional pass by the nut dish to get a few.

I got a great tip at the meeting from a member. This woman mixes cereals with the highest fiber and the least calories for a unique taste. Sounds great to me. I think I'll try it. Another member likes to use a tiny spoon, a tiny cup, and a tiny plate. I don't think that's for me. I'm the one who used to always go to the "all you can eat" places and do my best to make sure I got my money's worth.

We learned that if you follow all your good health habits that this uses up 98% of your points with only 2% for extras.

I'm trying not to use my weekly points. We learned that we should only use it for an emergency, like a special night out at a restaurant.

We learned that if we aren't losing weight, it's most likely that we aren't monitoring our food intake. I believe that.

I tend to get in an eating rut and eat the same things day after day because I feel they are safe. I like to stick with lots of fresh fruit and stir fry but I'm a little too heavy on the olive oil. I need to be careful to counting it, instead of just pouring.

I'm glad I'm back at Weight Watchers. I weighed 130 pounds for years and I'm determined to get back there. With exercise, healthy eating, and monitoring my food intake, I should make it this time and stay there. Permanent changes are necessary. You just can't think that you can go back to your old ways after you get down to your goal weight.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Script Frenzy

It sure is fun to be deep inside the process of writing a screenplay. This will be my first finished screenplay, if I make it. I'm trying to live up to the challenge of writing the first draft of a screenplay in the month of June for the website www.scriptfrenzy.org.

It's harder since I am working part time. I want to finish my screenplay. I'm writing about the Portland to Coast Volkswalk team I was on in 2003. It sure was fun and exciting and something I had never done before or since. The challenge of being part of a team to walk from Portland to Seaside on the Oregon Coast in a weekend is one I'll never forget so I'm trying to put it into words in the form of a screenplay.

Last month I wanted so much to go to a screenwriting workshop in Portland to learn from Michael Hauge, one of my writing heroes but didn't have the money and had to work. That wasn't possible at that time but trying to participate in Script Frenzy is possible.

So back to work on my screenplay..............

Timberhill Athletic Club

Timberhill Athletic Club in Corvallis is building a new outdoor pool with water slides for recreation. It's going to be great for young people when it's finished.

I love exercising in deep water since I learned to overcome my fear in December, 2004. I love to swim slowly back and forth for 30 minutes to an hour. What I am doing can't really be called swimming but I can get from one end of the deep end back to the other end and stay in the water without a problem.

Since the last time that I wrote about Weight Watchers and exercising at Timberhill in this blog, this is how much I have exercised and what I did starting with the last time I went.

May 30--Wednesday
15 minutes swim
1 hour hydrofit

May 29--Tuesday
30 minutes elliptical runner
5 minutes weights for arms
45 minutes hydrofit

May 26--Saturday
1 hour hydrofit

May 24--Thursday
1 hour hydrofit
1 hour water aerobics

May 23--Wednesday
1 hour swim
30 minutes elliptical runner

May 22--Tuesday
1 hour hydrofit

May 21--Monday
30 minutes exercise bike

May 18--Friday
1 hour hydrofit

I should drive in early to exercise this morning but I need to work on my screenplay before going to work today.

Weight Watchers

Since I started Weight Watchers a month ago, I've lost over 10 pounds so far. I sure hope I continue to lose. I'm really trying hard. I need to go to Weight Watchers because I need to watch my weight, my portions, and to be held accountable for what I eat. I eat healthy but I can get out of control quickly since I love good food.

At the last meeting I learned that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback or consider it a learning experience. "Refuse to accept anything less than success" was written on a flip chart. Then Nancy talked about Sir Edmund Hilliary after he failed at his first attempt to climb Mount Everest. In front of a large audience, he looked at a photo of the mountain and said, "You've grown all you're going to grow but I'm still growing."

Some great tips were discussed by Nancy:
1. have healthy foods ready to eat that I enjoy eating. 2. keep trouble foods out of sight. 3. relax and take naps. 4. make a unrelenting schedule for meal time. 5. plan your food and outings. 6. take time out for prep time after shopping to cut up your veggies so they aren't wasted. 7. relax with a hobby to feed your soul. 8. keep your house nice so you don't feel stressed. 9. keep away from stressful relationships and toxic friends. 10. accept things that you can't change. 11. have prepared things ready to do that are stress outlets when you want to reach for food.

Nancy talked about a great meal that she made with baby bok choy, hearts of romaine, Mrs. Dash, and boneless, skinless chicken thighs. Sounds great!

Weight Watcher meetings are always inspirational. One member reached her goal weight at the last meeting. Many do with Weight Watchers. You just have to keep going to meetings, keep watching your food portions, and exercise.

So You Think You Can Dance

It sure is fun to be able to watch So You Think You Can Dance on television. I have it saved on Tivo. I'm still not finished with the New York auditions. I'm excited to see what's going to happen this season. This is one of the best shows on television. It gives young people hope and a place to shine after working so many years at dance. I love to see young people develop as the show progresses and see what they can do.

It's fun to see Nigel Lythgoe and the other judges. It's always fun to see Mary laugh. Thank you for bringing this show to showcase the best in dancing.

Why?

On Monday, May 28th, I had a day off. My husband, Leslie and I went into Corvallis and saw a movie, Pirates of the Caribbean. It was great and for three hours, we escaped into an exciting adventure with Johnny Depp and pirates.

When we came home, I noticed first thing that my red purse was on the kitchen table, even though I had left it across the room next to my other purse just before we left the house. The clasp was bent. I bent it back. Later I found my handwritten notes missing out of my work journal that I didn't have time to type yet. I had punched holes in several sheets from a legal pad and put them in my notebook but they were gone. I found fabric missing--about three yards of Hoffman batik sunflower print that I had been saving for several years because it's my favorite. I went into my bin to discover it was no longer filled to the top but 2/3 of the way full. I found some Hoffman batik sunflower fat quarters in a plastic bag at the bottom but there was a lot of fabric missing. What else is missing?

The bigger question is why does this continue to happen? We have a security system. We pay every month to have a national security system monitor our house and we use it when we leave the house. We closed the gate. No one has keys to the house. After Christmas we changed the locks on the house. Our kids don't have keys to the house. I don't have any close friends and haven't given the key to anyone. So how can this happen? Why? I sure wish someone would have the courage to tell me.

I don't get a lot of phone calls but when I do there are clicks on the line. Why?

I'm trying hard every day to do the best I can--to work hard at my job that I enjoy, to eat healthy, to lose weight, to exercise when I have time, to write, to read. I'm a nice person. So why? I guess this is truly the time of Big Brother but why me?

Monday, May 21, 2007

Car in the Ditch




It's 7:15 p.m. on Monday evening. A car flew in the ditch in front of our property in Alsea over an hour ago. The man standing next to the car in the third photo is the driver of the car. Three trucks from the Alsea Fire Department are out on the road and a Benton County Sheriff's car. The air bags went off causing brusing to the driver. He's receiving medical attention now. The Corvallis Fire Department ambulance arrived to take the driver into Corvallis.
This is a dangerous corner. I don't know how many people have to end up in the ditch before Benton County reroutes traffic to eliminate this corner. This road is unsafe for drivers who frequently end up in the ditch and there is no shoulder for anyone to safely walk this road. Logging trucks and dump trucks go by on this road plus traffic to and from Eugene. People who aren't familiar with this road often end up in the ditch.
It's 8:21 p.m. and the tow truck just pulled the car out of the ditch. They sure make a lot of money on our corner.

Al Gore

ABC Good Morning America just interviewed Al Gore, asked about his new book about President Bush, and whether he will run for President. I would love to see Al Gore run for President. I hope he runs and I would vote for him.

Thank you, Al Gore for having the courage to write your new book, stand up for truth, stand up for environment and important issues that effect all of us.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and Gays

When I lived in Salem, Oregon, I knew a family in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who experienced the repercussions of having a gay son in this church. The grandfather, a Boy Scout leader, molested young boy scouts under his care and his grandson. This young man is an outstanding young man who is creative and good. Is it genetics that makes this young man gay or the unfortunate experience in his youth?

With the wide variation possible in human genetics, it is most likely the genetic component. You can't help how you are inside and what genetics you possess. I can't see anyone making a choice to put themselves out there and choosing to be gay unless they are. Gays receive cruel harrassment in society and often worse. What is the alternative? To hide their identity is sometimes worse than death. This young man has the courage to be himself.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints counsels gays in the church to become heterosexual. How is that possible, if they are born gay? They are being asked to deny who they are. My husband found out when we were serving as missionaries that there are stake presidents who struggle with being gay. This was shocking to me. We sure found out more things about the church serving as missionaries than we ever did since we joined in 1995. It was nice to be part of the church in the beginning but the longer we served in leadership positions, more of the secrets hidden to the majority of the church members were revealed.

I remember reading in Time or Newsweek years ago about a missionary young man in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who committed suicide. He had developed calouses on his knees from hours of torturous praying asking God to please help him. How sad!

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints takes on the name of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ commanded all of us to love thy neighbor as thyself. This means everyone. This means even those people who make us feel uncomfortable. This means those people on the other side of the world who are very different from us. This means those people who are difficult and hard to love. This means those people who we would rather not see or want to have anything to do with. This means everyone, including those who are born much different from us. This is the great challenge of Christianity.

Brothers and Sisters

The Sunday night television season finale of Brothers and Sisters still lingers on my tivo. I'm trying to savor my enjoyment of this captivating show, one of my favorites. Why does it have to be over for the season? Why can't it go on ad infinitum? I love Calista Flockhart and Sally Field the best. I love the interaction of family. I love it all and wish I were part of it. I'll wait for the next time.

I also love Lost, Desperate Housewives, and Grey's Anatomy. Why can't they all go on week after week?

Sunday, May 20, 2007

LDS Hymn

There is a hymn called IF YOU COULD HIE TO KOLOB on page 284 of the hymnal of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I'll share the words with you because it is eye-opening to some of the doctrine of this church. I will first preface by saying that Kolob is the planet where God lives.

"If you could hie to Kolob in the twinkling of an eye,
And then continue onward with that same speed to fly,
Do you think that you could ever, through all eternity,
Find out the generation where Gods began to be?

Or see the grand beginning, where space did not extend?
Or view the last creation, where Gods and matter end?
Me thinks the Spirit whispers, No man has found pure space,
Not seen the outside curtains, where nothing has a place to be?

The works of God continue, and worlds and lives abound;
Improvement and progression have one eternal round
There is no end to matter; There is no end to space;
There is no end to spirit; There is no end to race.

There is no end to virtue; There is no end to might;
There is no end to wisdom; There is no end to light;
There is no end to union; There is no end to youth;
There is no end to priesthood; There is no end to truth.

There is no end to glory; There is no end to love;
There is no end to being; There is no death above;
There is no end to glory; There is no end to love;
There is no end to being; There is no death above."

This was written by William W. Phelps who lived from 1792 to 1872. You can read about him in Doctrine and Covenants section 55. It says he was called and chosen to be baptized, ordained an elder, and to preach the gospel. He worked with Oliver Cowdery, another early church leader. I wonder if Phelps or Cowdery was related to Romney who is running for President?

Doctrine and Covenants 76 is a long section and it talks about how people who live up to the highest standards of the church become celestial beings or gods.

It's interesting that the Reverend Al Sharpton is going to Salt Lake to meet with Mormon leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to say he's sorry for offending Mormons. I wonder if Sharpton wants to learn how to become a god too? Jesus commanded all of us to love thy neighbor as thyself and yet the early Mormon church or the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints did not recognize or want Blacks in the church.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

American Idol

Jordin Sparks, Melinda Doolittle, and Blake Lewis are all Super Stars and will go on to a spectacular career on stage. My favorite is Blake Lewis and once again he wowed me and the audience. I only voted for Blake.

I hate to see American Idol end. It has been so much fun watching all the great talent each week. Now I have SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE to look forward to.

Yachats



Yachats is one of my favorite places to visit. My husband, Leslie and I went there at the first of the month to eat fish and chips at the Blue Whale and to walk a little bit along Ocean View Drive next to the ocean. I've eaten a lot of fish and chips in my life but I have never found better fish and chips than at the Blue Whale in Yachats.

Before we drove to the beach, we stopped at Shirley's where I wanted to buy a sea shell. I ended up buying a large star fish and a pair of purple NothinZ, which are like Crocs. I also have a pair of red Crocs. Both are comfortable and I enjoy wearing them around the house, instead of slippers. These are the squishy shoes with the holes that are so popular now. We also sell some at Joann Fabrics that are now on sale.

Timberhill Athletic Club

After Weight Watchers, I went to Timberhill Athletic Club and swam in the pool slowly for one hour and then I went upstairs to exercise. I was able to finish 30 minutes on the elliptical runner, 5 minutes on the Nu Step, 15 minutes on the exercise bike, and 15 minutes on the weight machines for arms. Then I headed down stairs when I saw someone from the Tai Chi class who escorted me back upstairs for 45 minutes of Tai Chi.

Tai Chi is relaxing, calming, and continuous movement. Although it is hard for me to consider this serious exercise, it is relaxing and for balance. I remember when my husband and I went on vacation to China with Ocean Pacific Tours in September of 1993, I watched people coming from every corner to a large open square in the early morning light for tai chi. It was extraordinary to watch from our hotel room way up high. Les, my husband had always wanted to walk on the Great Wall in China, which we did. I've always wanted to visit Sweden. Someday I will.

Weight Watchers

I went to the Weight Watchers meeting at 9:15 hopeful that I had lost weight and I did. I lost 7.6 pounds! Pretty good! What I did to lose the weight was to meticulously count points in my journal, eat core foods on the flex program, exercise, and say to myself that I weigh 150 pounds. It worked so I will do this again this next week. Last week I've discovered the shrimp is an essential food. One cup of shrimp is only two points. Stir fried in olive oil or teriyaki sauce, it makes a great compliment to large chunks of onion, bell pepper, and mushrooms stir fried in olive oil. I also gave up diet pop this week.

The topic this week was about cravings. Nancy, the leader wore a name tag that said she had lost 83 pounds. My leader last year was named Nancy too. She said to acknowledge the craving, avoid self judgments, remain calm, consider the consequences, step into action by considering portion size and thinking about alternative choices. I think that cinnamon rolls were mentioned too many times during this meeting. Urges are all about feelings and situations. You are supposed to remain calm, manage the situation, remove the temptation, eat something else or do something else. I learned that 4 points are cut off of a whopper at Burger King by saying no mayonnaise, throwing away the bottom bun, and asking for extra lettuce and tomato. This I will have to do because I love whoppers.

The woman sitting in front of me during the meeting was wearing a beautiful Scandinavian ski sweater. After the meeting we walked out to the parking lot together and I asked her about her sweater. I thought she had made it. It's a cotton, light-weight Eddie Bauer sweater, perfect for the summer. It's beautiful. Eddie Bauer's catalog is full of practical, beautiful, excellent quality garments that will last and that you'll be proud to wear. www.eddiebauer.com

Monday, May 14, 2007

Script Frenzy



Chris Baty, the originator of National Novel Writing Month in November has created a new writing challenge beginning in June called Script Frenzy. The goal is to write 20,000 words of a screenplay or play during the month of June. This translates to 120 pages or 4 pages a day. Chris Baty has done an amazing job of inspiring writers around the world with National Novel Writing Month and now he's added this challenge. Chris Baty is a writing hero!

I signed up and look forward to the frenzy! www.scriptfrenzy.org
There is another wonderful writing opportunity coming up on May 19th, this Saturday. I just found it in the writing events that I get in an e-mail. Michael Hauge is coming to Portland. He's one of my writing heroes and he's teaching a one day workshop in Portland on "the essential steps to creating and selling your novel or screenplay." I wish I could go. I have to work plus I don't have the money. I'm determined to be able to have the savings ready the next time he comes. (I started a 401K and savings account last month.) I have listened to one of his tapes, THE HEROES TWO JOURNEYS that I checked out from the library, and bought his book, WRITING SCREENPLAYS THAT SELL. I wrote to him and he was kind enough to send me an encouraging letter. I'm going to read Hauge's book again to get ready for Script Frenzy.

Daniel Haber

I'm so proud of my son, Daniel. He's my inspiration and one of my heroes. He works hard every day for long hours and keeps focused on goals important to him. I don't know anyone else who has so carefully planned his life and has worked hard to accomplish his goals. He has integrity and feels the responsibility to do his best. Right now he's working at Battell in Mountain View, California as a Research Scientist working on projects with NASA and the transportation industry.

Daniel just ran his first marathon--the Eugene Marathon with a time of 4 hours and 3 minutes.

I often wear the Scandinavian ski sweater he bought for me when he was visiting our family in Sweden. He worked in Berlin, Germany at a pharmaceutical company to gain international business experience for nine months and attended the Copenhagen School of Business for a summer.

Daniel was President of Sigma Pi when he was going to school at Oregon State University. He also worked for Office Max in Corvallis, did community service, and earned a degree in accounting.

I'm proud of the person that Daniel is inside and will always be proud of him.

This Is NOT the Life I Ordered

I just finished reading the book, THIS IS NOT THE LIFE I ORDERED--50 WAYS TO KEEP YOUR HEAD ABOVE WATER WHEN LIFE KEEPS DRAGGING YOU DOWN by Deborah Collins Stephens, Jackie Speier, Michealene Cristini Risley, and Jan Yanehiro. On the front cover is a quote by Amy Tan, one of my favorite authors, "...Inspiration to survive the worst luck and ...climb into a new life with unexpected happiness." I just got it for Mother's Day from my youngest son, Daniel. He also gave me fresh flowers and a wonderful Hallmark card that I will always keep.

This inspirational and motivational book that was just published this year has a clear message for women in my situation who have woke up one day and discovered that their life hasn't turned out as they expected. It's full of great quotes and inspiring stories of strong women. The clear message is that women, especially my age, have grown up believing that their husband will solve all the problems or a white knight on a silver horse will come and rescue them. This isn't the case. The clear message is to grow up and realize that we have to solve our own problems because there isn't anyone out there who is going to solve them for us. Unless we learn to reach out and learn, ask questions, and solve our own problems, we will continue to sit in our own muck.

I can't say that my life totally sucks. I just thought I would be rich, able to travel, and have accomplished great things in life by now. I do have many things to be thankful for so I will build on them, work on my writing, and do those things within my power to make my life better.

This is a book that I will read over and over through the coming years. It's worth buying a copy. Go to www.amazon.com to order yourself a copy or to give one as a gift.

Polygamy

Massachusetts Governor Romney said on the news recently that he's disgusted and ashamed of his ancestors practicing polygamy in the desert. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Romney says he doesn't believe in Doctrine and Covenants 132 and will not practice it. Interesting..............

One of my letters to Salt Lake was asking about Doctrine and Covenants 132. I wanted to know why scriptures are being printed with Doctrine and Covenants 132. This is the polygamy chapter. Mormons or members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints study four texts composed of the Old Testament, the New Testament, the Book of Mormon and the Doctrine of Covenants. Then there is also the Pearl of Great Price. These books are put together in a quad and are complete with translation approved by the church. If you have a Mormon neighbor, ask him to bring over his quad and read this chapter out loud or ask to borrow it. See what you think about it.

My interpretation is that Doctrine and Covenants 132 says that polygamy is a practice ordained by God or Heavenly Father, (which means the God of this world as there are Gods of other worlds who were exalted beings. I have always believed in ONE God, the Father, and the Holy Ghost. I learned a lot about this church that I didn't know when I first joined.)

I've overheard conversations of women in Relief Society talking about polygamy and when it will be practiced again. Some don't want to have anything to do with it and others want to do the Lord's will and follow what is asked of them. The perks are having help with housework. I've overheard conversations in the hallway of men and in Gospel Doctrines class who say that they look forward to it. It will be hard on them but they will follow God's will and do what is asked of them. Yeah, sure! Others, like Romney, are disgusted.

If this church keeps printing Doctrine and Covenants 132 and the official verdict is that polygamy is no longer practiced, then why should anyone who belongs to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints follow anything written in the Old Testament and New Testament either? They pick and choose depending on what is popular and what can be tolerated in the current political climate. They care less about what is right, what God wants them to do, than finding justification for carrying out what they want to do and to keep tax free status. They have answers for everything. Did you know that Heavenly Father lives on the planet Kolob? (See Hymn #284.) I think the early married leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints lusted after young women and found a way to make polygamy okay within the church by delaring that God asked them to take on extra wives. I think this is the real truth.

I do not believe in polygamy. I have never believed in polygamy. I find it interesting that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints so self-righteously denounces and denies that it has any thing to do with polygamy when some of the members discuss with anticipation the time when it will once again be practiced.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Survivor Fiji

Yauman is the one who I want to win. He calmly thinks, plans, and plays the game with integrity. He constantly amazes me winning challenges. Last night when he gave Dreamz the truck, it was interesting how quickly Dreamz was ready to betray the kindness. I'm glad Yauman used the immunity idol since everyone was positioned and ready to vote him out.
I love Survivor--the show that allows the child in the adult to play, to test limits, to challenge, and to have fun.

How nice that Survivor gave to equipment to the school on the island. What a great thrill to watch.

Next we have Pirate Master to watch coming up at the end of May. This should prove to be a lot of fun. Every show connected to survivor is excellent and the best in television programming.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Alec Baldwin

I watched the View when Alec Baldwin told his story. It's unfortunate but public figures can't be human beings and make mistakes without someone taking advantage and putting it all in front of everyone to pick apart and judge.

Alec Baldwin is a gifted and brilliant actor. Kim Basinger is a gifted actress. They both found success on the screen and joined in marriage. Ireland is a beautiful young girl who, I suspect, must also be brilliant, talented, and gifted. Ireland is learning that she can hurt her father deeply by withdrawing her attention. She's learned what hurts her father most. Her father, in a human moment, got mad. What parent doesn't get mad at times? Alec Baldwin obviously loves his daughter very much. Calling Ireland a pig isn't cool but it is appropriate as a parent to call her on her actions without name calling and expect her to be responsible and accountable for her actions. This is part of parenting and part of growing up.

I sincerely hope all of them can heal in their hearts and they can learn to come together without conflict, without games, without being hurtful. Ireland needs both of her parents to get along.

Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton is in the news again and I seem to have a different opinion than most. A few years ago, I watched Paris and her friend on a reality show in the mid-west on a farm as she was learning to connect with people much different than her. I thought it showed that Paris was compassionate and had a kind heart. She wanted to please. It showed courage to put herself out there to learn to connect with people very different from her. It was obvious that she hadn't learned some lessons that most her age take for granted because she's rich. Things are done for the rich. They don't have to do most of the things which develop lessons in character and discipline but why should she have to work hard and never give up when she already had everything she could ever want?

I haven't paid attention to much of the news about Paris. I don't find pleasure in seeing someone mess up.

I see Paris as a gifted young woman who didn't get the proper direction for her talents. Her energies should have been channeled into projects that she would find exciting. Until this happens in her life and she finds a mentor who wants her to win, she is going to continue acting out. Paris is capable of accomplishing anything she wants to accomplish in life once she decides on getting serious and focuses on what she wants to do. She's strong willed. She's smart. She's beautiful. She has it all except direction and focus on a goal. I'm sure her parents would support her in anything she wants to accomplish. Her Dad couldn't be Mr. Hilton, if he weren't a brilliant business man. Hilton Hotels represent excellence in hotels and service. Mr. Hilton wouldn't enjoy being around Mrs. Hilton, if she weren't smart and able to hold his interest so it stands to reason that Paris has inherited the genes of intelligence. More likely than not.

Not all parents know what to do to help a gifted kid and trust educators, who often fail miserably to help them. Parents often love their children so much that they only want to say yes, when saying no is what is needed. Parents need to learn the long term consequences when they are saying yes to their little children for everything the child wants. It isn't conducive to go out into the world to become an independent, contributing, well-adjusted adult. How is a young person going to do well in school if his parents give in to his every whim of not wanting to do this or that?

Most educators think that gifted kids don't need any help. That isn't true. The gifted often become bored and disruptive when they are allowed to sit without being taught and challenged. The gifted often do not reach their potential, if they don't receive a proper education. What a waste!

Paris needs to take a serious look to evaluate what she wants to do but she needs someone who genuinely cares about her and wants her to win to help focus her life into a positive direction. Paris is acting out, as many gifted kids because she wants attention. Negative attention will do when you don't get positive attention but this is becoming self distructive and has to stop.

Paris needs to make a decision about what direction her life should take and then set about moving each goal forward daily or weekly. She has the resources to win at anything she wants to do. Paris loves to be in front of the camera and in front of a crowd so she needs to find something that would respect her, keep within appropriate boundaries that would be constructive and that she finds exciting.

It doesn't help to put gifted women in prison, like Martha Stewart or Paris Hilton. There needs to be a different solution. I haven't seen Martha Stewart much since she was in prison. I sent a letter to her while she was in prison. Why do people seem to feel the need to be so cruel to smart women who make unfortunate choices. Martha didn't do anything that hundreds of men haven't done for years without ever having a problem. Men who make greater mistakes aren't punished as severely. I didn't ever see ENRON GUY in prison. Loop holes are found for smart, rich men, not women. Martha Stewart seems to have the wind taken out of her sail. I wonder if she will ever be the same again. I find this tragic and I don't want to see this happen to Paris Hilton.