Thursday, January 29, 2009

Wii Fit

I'm back in business with Wii Fit. My replacement cord was delivered yesterday by UPS. Hurray! Now my life is better. It's amazing how important in such a short period of time Wii Fit has become in my life.

I used Wii Fit after I got it set up for a straight 57 minutes. The cool thing was that after I took the beginning tests, my Wii Fit age yesterday was 30. Here I am almost 61 years old and I was 30. That sure boosts your confidence and makes you feel good. I feel very young inside. I created seven new records yesterday. I'm doing best in Yoga, which is odd since I've never taken a yoga class since you bend all up like a pretzel.

I always do several exercises in all four areas during the day--yoga, strength training, aerobics, and balance. My favorite thing to do is ski slalom. I'm half Swedish so I feel like I was born to ski even though I have never skiied in my life. It sure feels like it is close to what it must be like as I zoom through the flags and speed up in the areas where I know what's coming up. I love it.

I'm back in business. Life is good. After I get off the computer and check my e-mail, I will Wii Fit. I will have coffee with my husband, Leslie and play a game of Canasta to 5,000 points. Then I will work on revising my novel for several hours and then read in the evening. A perfect day.

Super Bowl

As I turned on my computer and my home page downloaded, I saw mention that an ad for the Super Bowl was rejected. I sent in an idea for a Super Bowl ad that I thought was great a few years ago. I should have run it by Donny Deutsch, the marketing genius first, if I had the opportunity. My idea for the Super Bowl is for both opposing teams to run onto the field from opposite ends. Just as they get onto the field, they tear off their uniforms to reveal Super Hero garb underneath. As they fly around and show their Super Hero powers, the commercial ends. Isn't that what men who sit and watch the Super Bowl think about their team? I think so.

I'm really not a football fan, unless it is the Chicago Bears and Mike Ditka. I've discouraged my sons from playing football even though Daniel was great at football. He went to football camp. His coach wanted him to play varsity as a sophomore because he was fearless and strong. I sat him down to read the article in Muscle and Fitness by Emmett Smith that said that being a professional football player was like getting hit by a freight train each time you go on the field. Daniel is brilliant so I wanted him to see that he was so much more than football. After his coach at North Salem High School wanted him to live and breathe football 24 hours a day with nothing else in his life, Daniel made the decision to quit on his own. Football causes brain injury. Just ask Mike Ditka and listen to the disabled voices of past football giants who played professional ball.


Yesterday I went to the post office in Alsea and there was Madison. The last time I went to the post office, Madison was there too where I met her for the first time. She's five years old and ready to start kindergarten. She's ready to learn, ready to soar. She's not afraid. She's confident and wants to be helpful. For the last two times at the post office, Madison has helped me get my mail out of my box so I gave her a quarter each time. She smiles. She's nice. How come five year olds are some of the best people on earth? I told her after she said thank you that she should read lots of books. I sure hope that she is given the best teachers who believe in her and see her ability and potential. I can see her being a successful CEO or a teacher or a doctor or an attorney or a national inspirational public speaker or anything she wants to be.

After leaving the post office, I went on to get a Diet Pepsi at John Boy's Mercantile. John walked by and said hi. He's always courteous and nice. He has a great son named Matt who just took over running the store. John is from the great state of Montana where I'm from. I was born in Libby. My neighbor George Foster who lives on land above me says that John is the unofficial Mayor of Alsea. I agree that John deserves the title because he's nice to everyone and he's smart. George Foster is nice too although he doesn't even wave hello. Maybe George's best friend Brian Leavitt has told him beware. Brian is a Mormon lover. He has family in Salt Lake. He fights to keep the federal lunch program out of the school even though I was told that over 50% of the kids would qualify. He even goes to Salem to lobby before the legislature to tell them Alsea doesn't want it or need it. He's the minister of the Church of Christ in Lobster Valley. He's the Fire Chief. He was the School Board President. He's actually a nice guy. I thought his church was the best one in the area and the one I wanted to attend but he said I wasn't welcome to come to his barbeque at his house after church. He didn't want me in church so I stopped going.

Then there is football man who lives down the street and teaches at the high school. This family also goes to the Church of Christ so he's friends with Leavitt. This family didn't like me after I ordered star of David candles from his daughter. So what does this mean? Does this mean that he's a Jew hater? I don't understand how anyone can go to church and hate anyone. When I went to Sunday School at the Lutheran Church growing up, I learned that Jews are God's Chosen People. God loves Jews best. So why do people in churches dislike and even hate Jews? Is it because they are smarter? Because they are superior? Because God loves Jews best of all over everyone else?

People are funny around here. We donated stuff to the school and didn't even receive a thank you. We gave a scanner to football man at the school. His name is Cowdery.

The best time I ever had at the school was playing my clarinet with their band. It was fun to be part of the band. I felt like a little kid again. I felt like I was one of them. They were all better than me but it was fun. I had plans to write a juvenile novel about the band. Maybe I still will. I used to come in just for band and then leave. One girl refused to play her clarinet as long as I played in the band so I quit. I was told by another woman that the band is for the kids and that I shouldn't come. I think that the school is a better place if you have lots of community members participating in classes. If someone wants to learn geometry at an older age, they should be allowed to come to class and learn, even if they are 55 years old. I submitted a grant request for the band and the school received $500 from the Clemens Foundation and now they don't have a band at the school which is sad.

After going to John Boys, I went into the library and picked up an audio book by Robin Cook, one of my favorite authors. I love listening to audio books as I follow along with the book. I do this when I want to escape into a book. It gives you the total experience so you can get lost in it and close out the world around you. Mary the librarian was unusually chatty for some reason. Then out in the parking lot was Ann the snot busy putting together flowers for someone. She never thinks I am worth talking to. She's the expert about everything having to do with children. She's probably best friends with Molly Mormon, Carol De Young.

When I walked into the library I saw one of the teachers at the Alsea School, Anna Moseur, if I remember her name correctly. I know she is a good person and is nice but she didn't wave or speak. Whatever.

I have a horrible habit of staring at people. I'm relentless. I look people up and down as if to memorize each article of clothing and so I can document each distinct detail. I call it TV eyes. It's really writer eyes or novel eyes. Sometimes I don't bother to look at all. Most of the time I just stay home and never leave. Most of the time my husband goes to the post office and picks up my books or gets my Diet Pepsi.

So out of all the people I saw as I make a quick sweep through the town of Alsea, do I have a friend who calls once in awhile, who wants to come to dinner, who wants to share dreams, who wants to go for coffee? No. I have zero friends. Just superficial relationships. That's it. No one thinks I am worth talking to or spending time with. No one wants to know how I think or why. No one wants to tell me what they think or share troubles. No one cares. So that's why I blog. Even if no one reads it. My blog listens to me.

If I put up a sign that said that I wanted to start some kind of program, no one would sign up or call to inquiry. That's what it's like around here. I was told when I first moved in at a Bible study group for the Alsea Christian Fellowship that if you don't fall into line in Alsea, you will be driven out. I've been alone my entire life so it doesn't matter if people talk or want to be my friend. My mother prepared me for all this. Bless her little heart. My mother wanted a clean house above all else so I had to stay in my room all the time so I wouldn't mess up her house. I grew up in my room alone so I am trained to be alone, to make up my own fun, to not need anyone. So be it. I have books. I have my perfect cat, Thomas. I have the opportunity to create stories and write. I have a garden. I have Wii Fit. I have birds that visit outside my window. When the weather warms up, I'll have my garden. What more can I ask for? I have it all.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Wii Fit

My Wii Fit doesn't work right now. The cord is having problems connecting to my television so I miss my Wii Fit. I didn't know it would be so important to me in such a short time. I am so impressed with this software. It is interactive. It updates. It keeps track of your progress. It inspires. It encourages. It gives you more games, the more time you spend exercising. What gets me and what amazes me is that the wee little voice that seems so disappointed in my weight, actually gets to me and halts my eating during the day. I've lost close to 9 pounds in a week. I haven't been able to exercise in the last three days so I desperately await the arrival of UPS on Wednesday to bring the new cord for my Wii Fit so I can start up again. Wii Fit means health. It means fitness. It means hope for so many people who are isolated, alone, and who don't exercise much. It works.

Eric Maisel

Eric Maisel has written over 20 books and is well respected in the writing community. I've seen articles by and about him in The Writer and Writers Digest Magazine over the years. I have one of his books in my writing craft bookcase.

Dr. Maisel is a psychotherapist and has a weekly e-mail that he sends out on creativity for writers and artists. I find it interesting, inspiring, and helpful.

His new book, The Atheist's Way is on sale now at Whether you are religious, questioning, or just want to learn how about different philosophies, you will find insight into the atheists way by reading his book.

People have a right to their own opinion and to express it. To stop dissent, debate, and a difference of opinion goes against everything this country stands for. Right now there is pressure to suppress the liberal media. It concerns me because only in a free society can debate flourish. I sincerely hope that President Obama will do something to safeguard freedom of the press and the right to free debate of issues and ideas.


I am busy with the revision on my novel I wrote during the month of November during National Novel Writing Month.

This is the writing project that I am deeply connected to right now. I'm having fun with it and have written for several hours today revising, thinking, changing, wondering, and figuring out answers to problems. I love the process of writing but writing is very lonely.

I was thinking today that I would like to work with a software gamer to work on a writing software program like Wii Fit that is interactive, that gives writing tips, that keeps track of your writing, that encourages, inspires, and claps for you. Wii Fit works for me and I know that if I had a writing program on my computer that was interactive just like Wii Fit, it would work for me.

A Quote

"All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
--Edmund Burke 1729-1797
British politician


I wonder what the future brings. Is hard work going to be rewarded or will all my efforts be stomped into the ground and not allowed fruition as in the past?

Should I just stay home and give up? Should I quietly live out my life out in the middle of no where reading the books that I want to read, write what may never be published, and enjoy my garden and the birds that visit?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


I drove to Portland this morning to the OHSU clinic at Gabriel Park to get my stitches out. I had a large mole removed requiring several stitches. Janice was the nurse who helped me. She's so nice. I really enjoyed talking to her even though I wasn't with her very long. She said that the area healed and she was able to remove the stitches. I think they need to clone her. I wish I had at least ten friends like her. Everyone is nice at OHSU.

Financial Fitness

I signed up for a free class on financial fitness with Willamette Neighborhood Housing Services in Corvallis before I take a course on starting your own business with Linn-Benton Micro Business in March learning how to create a business plan. I am excited to learn.

My husband, Leslie of over 36 years has always handled all the money so I am not financially fit. He does it all and loves to shop. These classes should help me and I look forward to learning and growing in this area. Yes, I listen to business network shows on MSNBC, I read business magazines like Money, Forbes, and Fortune, and I enjoy reading the Wall Street Journal but I still have a lot to learn. I have thought of getting a MBA with an online school to learn project management.

The Bucket List

I saw the Bucket List yesterday. I had it saved from the free HBO weekend. This Rob Reiner film is now one of my favorite films starring three of my favorite actors--Jack Nicholson, Morgan Freeman, and Sean Hayes.

It makes me feel the need to create my own bucket list and to not waste time on anything that isn't important to me, of value, or worth learning about.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Inauguration

I watched the inauguration of President Obama this morning. President Obama is the hope of all people of the United States and the world for a better America. It isn't going to be easy. The economic state of our nation is at its worst and there are more challenging circumstances in the world than ever before. I heard one news commentator say that "today pigs can fly." Yes, indeed. President Obama is a President of the people, all people.

I believe in President Barack Obama. He has my complete confidence. There is hope for America now. We will heal and come together to work hard for a better country. Everyone must be given a chance for a bright future. All citizens must be valued.

Since many of the rich in power made the choice to steal, hard decisions will have to be made. Business must pay their fair share. The rich need to pay taxes. The elderly and children must be protected. Education must be a right for all, not just the few with money. There must be health care for everyone and not just those with insurance. People must be held accountable.

I believe that many opportunities will be possible as our nation heals and after President Obama has had the chance to make needed changes.

Flight 1549

U.S. Airways flight 1549 went down in the Hudson River in New York last Thursday. Two geese took out an airplane and caused it to go down. Statistics given in the Corvallis Gazette Times say that from 1990 to 2007, there have been nearly 80,000 reported incidents of bird strikes on non-military aircraft.

When I first heard about bird strikes a couple of years ago and how birds can take out an engine, I could not understand why something hasn't been done to prevent this from happening since the results can be so deadly. There should be a cover over the engine so that a bird cannot enter. Just because something hasn't been done in the past, doesn't mean that someone can't come up with a great solution to the problem made out of light weight material to protect the engines of aircraft.

National Day of Service

Yesterday was National Day of Service and I helped out for a couple of hours to help get donations of food and money for the Food Bank in Alsea located at the Alsea Christian Fellowship Church. I had a few questions about the program so I visited the Food Bank personally before I volunteered and received the tour from Pastor Bill Smith. Most of the food comes from the government such as beans, rice, canned vegetables and fruit, peanut butter, flour, etc. U.S.D.A. is stamped on the boxes. I learned that when a family comes in need to the Food Bank, they will receive a box of food that will last them about three days. Usually these families also use food stamps to help them the rest of the month.

People were generous as I was sitting at a table in the front at John Boy's Mercantile with money and cans of food.

The most fun was talking to a student and his mother who were also volunteering with this effort. The high school student, Connor is obviously bright and creative. It was fun to learn from him about using water colors. It made me sad though when I thought of how much I have wanted my life to be filled with students so that I could help them reach for their dreams.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Brothers and Sisters

One of my favorite television shows is Brothers and Sisters on ABC starring Sally Field and Calista Flockhart who are my favorites on the show. In the last episode, these two characters who are mother and daughter are talking. The writing and dialogue is so outstanding and powerful.

Sally Field says, "You can't sit on your hands so other people feel better about themselves. God, Kitty, I did that my whole life. When I think of all the great ideas I gave your father and just pretended they weren't mine. He let me do it, of course. Sometimes I think, what if I hadn't done that. What if I had taken credit where credit was due? I was a more powerful woman than I let myself be.... I don't want you to do that. I don't want you to make that mistake. You won't do anyone any good by pretending to be less than what you are."

Isn't that great! Isn't that just powerful writing! I hope someday that I write the words that someone like Sally Fields says on screen.

If you want great drama and great writing, watch Brothers and Sisters on ABC on Sunday nights at 10 p.m. It's on tonight. I'll be watching. I hope you will be too.


I've always been anti-drug. I've never used any illegal drugs and I've never even tried marijuana, even though I went through college in the 60's. I have also never smoked because my Dad died of lung cancer from smoking cigarettes.

I have, however, trusted in doctors who gave me prescription medication. Never again. It's hard for me to trust in doctors now. I've always believed in doctors because they are some of the most educated people and are supposedly trying to help people. Some misuse this trust. I know there are good doctors who are ethical and who work hard to help people. However, I no longer blindly trust anyone anymore.

My husband got sick in 1978 with Valley Fever. At the time he was working for Avco Financial Services in San Luis Obispo, California as a manager. He had been transferred into several stores to turn them around. He was good at this. The San Luis Obispo store was the last store. He got sick. Another complication was that his regional supervisor wasn't ready to get the results the old fashioned way. He wanted Les to cheat. Les refused. He knew he would be able to get the results a little longer honestly so the pressure to make things more difficult was applied. He was working during the summer without air conditioning when he was sick without a lot of help. The regional supervisor refused to order air conditioning and refused to let him hire the help he needed. Les told a regional VP what was going on. The sad thing is that this regional VP after telling what happened at headquarters was let go shortly thereafter. I guess this was the beginning of what was to come in business all these years later that cheating on the bottom line would be accepted. My husband refused to play along. He got very sick but took them to court and got an award of $100,000. Then the doctor that he was seeing put him on heavy medication that would continue over the years with other doctors when we moved back to Salem, Oregon.
Was it because he spoke out and dared to tell the truth?

Then I went to work in Salem years later so we could move into a better neighborhood and have a nicer house. I did this for my children and for their future. I wanted them to have the best because they were the best and are the best. I took the first job with the state of Oregon that I was offered. I was eager to do well. I was ambitious and smart and willing to work hard. I got hired by DMV. I first worked in accident records. Then I worked on the phones to answer questions. In two years, I earned three promotions. My last job was at the DMV in Portland on 6th Avenue downtown. It was hard because I was driving back and forth every day on I-5 and living in South Salem. The problem came when I discovered that the people I worked with were holding back money from car dealers and keeping it in the safe. I told one of the car dealers that he had money coming back to him. He was surprised. I should have told someone at DMV at a much higher level what I had discovered. After this, the people I worked with made my life miserable. I should have quit. It's hard for me to quit at things. I keep trying harder. I ended up with bleeding ulcers and almost died. The union didn't help me because one of the people I was working with was a union boss so they believed him. So I went to the doctor that my husband was seeing at the time at the suggestion of my husband. Since I had bleeding ulcers, the bad kind not caused by bacteria, that was caused by stress, I went to see my husband's doctor, Dr. Bennett Wight. I trusted that he was doing what was best for me. I trusted that he knew what he was doing so I did what he said. I took the medication that he prescribed. I kept questioning but I still trusted. Now looking back, I believe that he should have said to me that the best thing was to get another job and do something else. He didn't. He kept giving me medication that I didn't feel I needed for ten years. I've learned that when a doctor says something that people believe it. I also learned that if you take one medication and it has side effects that doctors often prescribe more medication for the side effects giving a whole new set of symptoms and causing new problems. I don't believe in taking any prescription medication now at all, unless absolutely necessary.

My belief in this doctor came to a crashing halt when my son, Aaron died. Dr. Wight didn't even talk to me about my son's death or try to help me. Around this time I ordered a book from the Book of the Month Club called Prozac Backlash, which told of the horrors of prescription medication. I made a decision to go off all the medication on my own, slowly. I reduced the dosage slowly over time. I felt very alone but I knew I needed to do this for my family. I felt betrayed by this doctor. Since I was on workman's comp at the time under this doctor's care, I went to other doctors and attorneys in Portland to have them look at my case. They said it was a clear case of malpractice. My husband went to court and we won a large settlement. Dr. Tran came next. He talked to me about nutrition and exercise. He was nice and tried to help but refused to have anything to do with me and disavowed any dealings with me after I showed him my article that I published in Birds and Blooms. I thought this was odd. Did this mean that he misinterpreted me? I haven't had a doctor in many, many years. I don't take any prescription medication, nor do I intend to do so. The last thing that Dr. Tran said to me was to start over, to walk away from my life and not look back. How do you do that when you don't have savings, friends, and a job so you can be self supporting?

I tried to leave my husband after my son died and after I stopped taking most of the medication. My husband lied about me to stop me from leaving. He said I was suicidal and had me put on a psychiatric wing at Good Samaritan Hospital in Corvallis for a week. I wasn't suicidal. I was just trying to leave my husband. They couldn't believe that anyone would be taking the combination of medication that I was taking at the time by Dr. Wight. All the medication had been prescribed and ordered by Dr. Wight. It makes me wonder what other doctors are giving multiple medications that should be questioned.

I was talking to my son this weekend. I know that I wasn't completely there for him when he needed me at different times. I didn't always listen to him as he listens to me. I'm sorry. When you take any kind of medication, it prevents you from being fully present to help anyone around you. It dulls your senses. I am sorry. I am sorry I trusted. I don't blame any of my children from being angry with me. I blame myself for listening to doctors and for taking any medication. I should have just got a different job. Healthy choices never medicate or dull the senses. I have always tried to do the right thing but it didn't always turn out to be the right thing.

I was told by a doctor this last week at OHSU that I am "so good natured." I've always been easy-going. It's so nice to see good doctors who are supportive and encouraging and who care about you as a patient. Dr. Present was removing a mole at the time--a large mole that required several stitches.

I've tried hard over the years to heal myself by writing, eating lots of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, and by exercise. Life is not always easy. You make the best choices you can in life and do the best you can. I am grateful when I come across nice people, good people who are ethical, inspiring, and have character. I hope I have a future with friends, with the opportunity to learn and grow continually. I hope I'm okay and that I don't have cancer again. I hope that I can lose the weight. I hope that I can publish books and that I have a chance to earn money to make possibilities happen. I hope that someday my kids will like me again.

Wii Fit

I believe that Wii Fit is the most important video game system ever created because it is interactive and can keep you fit. Yesterday I used mine that I received as a Christmas gift for the second day in a row. The first day I logged in one minute. Yesterday I used it for one hour and 15 minutes. I'm hooked on it. I love it.

My favorite is beginning step so far. I made four new records yesterday on step. I know it is just the beginning and I know I am still at the easy stuff but it made me feel good about myself. It encourages and inspires. I am out there on stage with my family smiling at me stepping on the board right next to me. It makes me feel good. It was really fun and makes me want to do more and more. I miss going to the gym but this is the next best thing when you are at home and if the weather is nasty in the winter.

This game system can help so many people to get off the couch and to move again for their own health and well being.

My goal is to exercise an hour a day in all four catagories--yoga, aerobics, strength training, and balance. I did best in yoga, which is shocking. I earned three stars in two exercises.

The big surprise and shock of Wii Fit is that at almost 61 years old and a disgusting 291 pounds, I am a Wii Fit age of 41. My husband who is 58 years old and almost 59 is a Wii Fit age of 75.

I've been so worried about my health. I worried whether I would have a stroke or a heart attack. I am too overweight. I don't belong to a gym right now because I can't afford it.

This gift is the greatest gift. I will do my best to use it every day, eat healthy, and drink lots of water. Thank you so much Daniel, Jodee, Joe, Christina, Alex, and Chance. I love it and I will use it in health. Thank you so much. Daniel and Jodee brought this great gift, along with others, to me on their visit to the Northwest to see family. They set it up and showed us how to use it. This means fun every single day.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

President Barack Obama

The United States has been desvastated and financially gutted. Shame on all who participated in the ruin of the American dream.

It can't go back to the way it was because the resources don't exist. We must face the fact that the dream is over as we knew it.

In order for our nation to heal, we must value ALL citizens, not just the rich. Greed MUST have a cap. The environment MUST be protected. Health care for ALL is essential. Children and the elderly MUST be protected. The rich and businesses MUST pay their fair share. All who want an education MUST have this opportunity. The legal system MUST work again. Social Security MUST be protected, which is the only proven retirement system.

So many people have been drenched in positive thinking which has allowed the crooks to run away with the money. Micromanaging has been a bad word but it might have prevented this unpresidented havoc. People MUST be held accountable.

We MUST face the facts before we can start over or the same mistakes will be repeated. We can never go back. We must face the future with a new vision and the old rules don't apply.

President Barack Obama, in my opinion, will be remembered as the GREATEST President in the history of the United States. He is the calm during the storm and the answers amidst the turmoil. At no time in the history of the United States has a President of the United States faced greater challenges. President Barack Obama is ready and faces these challenges squarely with answers and insight.

I have never in my life felt such confidence and trust in any President or public figure. I do have complete trust and confidence in President Barack Obama. He is my President. He is the savior of the United States of America. God bless and protect President Barack Obama.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009


Here are my 2009 resolutions:
Finish juvenile novel.
Finish copywriting course.
Write 8 hours daily.
Read 4 hours daily.
Read two plus books a week.
Revise NaNoWriMo Novel
Finish cruise mystery
Participate in Script Frenzy in April.
Exercise two hours daily.
Learn at least one new word a day.
Read one hour a day about health and fitness.
Shop a novel every six months.
Donate extra garden vegetables to food bank.
Clean house one hour daily.
Finish quilts for my grandchildren.
Eat small portions.
Garden two hours daily.

I could add to the list. I always do. So far I am not doing everything each day but I will get up each day and keep trying.

In January of 2009, I still have zero friends. I'm deliberately lowering all expectations and concentrating on what I can do and what I have the power to do within my immediate environment.

I found a quote that I printed out and put on the wall near me. I read it in a book. "So you have a void in your life. Welcome to the club. Fill it with work, with accomplishments. Just think about the woman you could be." I wish I had the money to go to writing workshops and conferences but I don't so I must be grateful for the opportunity to write. Maybe something, someday will happen, IF I just keep trying.

So that's what I will concentrate on in writing, reading, exercising, gardening, and making things.

I would like to be part of things, to contribute, to be of use, but how is it possible when you lack a support structure and close friends?

I will write everyday. I will finish projects. I will read voraciously. I will learn new things. I will work hard to improve myself each day and to start each new day with gratitude for what I do have.